heat seeking penis missile



FRIDAY, Dec. 30, 2016 (HealthDay News) -- Doctors report that they have crafted a penis implant that becomes erect when heated. The new implant uses a heat-activated exoskeleton of nitinol, a metal known for its elasticity.

A urologist could do a simplified operation to insert the nitinol implant, which would remain flaccid at body temperature but could expand when heated. The implant designers are working on a remote-control device that could be waved over the penis to induce heat and expand the implant.



Huh. A heat seeking penis missile. What will they think of next? Will it automatically get hard in warm weather? Will it work better in hotter climates? Will the implant have automatic summer hard-ons? Will your cell phone signal accidentally activate it? When the guy with the heat seeking penis is done having an erection does he have to stick his penis in the freezer to make it soft again?




Pot jobs



New job opportunities for Americans. Pot jobs. Yes, marijuana. Thanks to many states legalizing pot for medical or recreational use the cannabis industry is booming!

From fool.com

"the cannabis industry extends beyond just growing, processing, and budtending at the retail level. Job opportunities are flourishing in security (since most banks refuse to deal with marijuana-based businesses, cash is still king), courier and delivery services, regulation, web and software development, consulting, and marketing. In fact, CNBC notes that roughly 400 students have enrolled in a 12-course program offered by the Northeastern Institute of Cannabis in Natick, Massachusetts that'll potentially jump-start their career in the cannabis industry. As with any industry, employment pay can vary, but managers and shop owners can certainly make six figures under the right conditions."



Yeah, soon kids will go to college or trade school - and major in marijuana. At least they'll love the homework! Then, after graduation, with a Dope Degree, they can enter the cannabis industry and make a career of it. "Hey, man, don't bug me about my stinky joint, smoking pot is my job!"

Assuming it's true, here's a news story that proves the future has already arrived. From MyNewsLA:

Most employers bar drug-takers. But an Orange County (south of Los Angeles) -educated man’s help-wanted ad on Craigslist insists that applicants be “420 friendly” — at ease with marijuana use.

“If you don’t test positive for marijuana, it will be strange and interesting,” says the ad for a promotional marketing manager with BudTrader.com, which calls itself the largest online medical marijuana marketplace. “But medical marijuana use is not a requirement.”

Pay isn’t bad for someone who needs only a high school diploma or GED: “$60,000 base [a year], plus bonuses, commissions and unlimited ‘samples’ of various marijuana/CBD/hemp-related products.”

Others perks: You get to “oversee [a] bevy of supermodel promo girls at upcoming events” and you get a free gym membership with a haircut and styling by a “top stylist.”


Care To Comment?

Death to Porch Pirates



From USA Today

"Thanks to modern technology, we can buy just about anything online and get it delivered to our doorstep in a snap. Not only has that been insanely convenient for us, but it’s also created a giant window of opportunity for so-called “porch pirates” too.

According to a recent report, at least 23 million Americans have had packages stolen from their porches, mailboxes, and stoops."

According to the LA Times: "They operate in the middle of the day, when many residents are at work and the delivery vans are making their rounds. They tend to follow FedEx, UPS and U.S. mail workers down streets, on the lookout for packages they can nab. Some even dress in uniforms to avoid suspicion."



Porch pirates? Maybe homeowners should pressure their political representatives in Congress to pass a federal law making porch piracy a death sentence offense. Or at least life imprisonment. Or put up a fake security camera with a sign saying "Smile, you're on camera. Die bitch." Or, if you're expecting a package, stay home - with a gun - and wait for a porch pirate to arrive and try to steal it.




watch your language



Here's a couple of funny language puns I made up. Say/read the punchline fast.

1. What did the lady say when she went to a Paris health spa and was asked if she wanted a massage by a handsome young stud on staff?

She said, "Oui, masseur".

2. What did the regular patron at a fancy Southern restaurant say when the waitress asked him if he wanted his usual champagne? "Oui, ma Dom".




Happy Anniversary!

Happy Anniversary! To me. As of December 7, 2016 it is been 5 years since I smoked a cigarette. On December 7, 2011, I stopped smoking - and started vaping. That's right, after decades of smoking a pack a day, thanks to electronic cigarettes (e-cigs), I stopping smoking - in 1 day!
And, as a result, my house doesn't stink, my car doesn't stink, and I don't stink. The e-cig brand that I use has no odor at all! And, with e-cigs, there's no filthy ashes, no matches or lighter needed, no burning, no littering and NO deadly second hand smoke.

And I am not inhaling the thousands of unhealthy chemicals usually added to tobacco, because electronic cigarettes contain NO tobacco!

Happy Anniversary, to me. As of December 7, 2016 I have not smoked a cigarette in 5 years. Not one. And I don't miss it and I don't even WANT a cigarette. I prefer my e-cig.

Happy Anniversary, to me! And my cardiologist, my other doctors and my family and friends are happy about it too! And, since my mouth doesn't stink from cigarettes, and doesn't smell and taste like an ashtray, women might even want to kiss me. THAT'S reason enough to celebrate!

As for the government hysteria over teens using e-cigs, the minimum legal age for buying e-cigs in California in 2017 will be 21. If the government wants to stop teens and pre-teens from vaping, instead of overtaxing/banning e-cig sales to adults, ENFORCE THE LAW.



hard of hearing?



Are you having some difficulty hearing? Feel like one of your ears is blocked, or both ears? I did too. Keep reading.

Years ago I started having trouble hearing. Both ears felt like they were clogged. I, of course, ignored the issue as I did not want to deal with hearing loss, hearing aids or deafness. I chalked it up to aging. Yes, I was over 40, no longer young. OK, I was over 50.

I ignored my hearing problem for months. OK, years. It wasn't getting any better but it was not getting a lot worse either. My father had to wear a hearing aid later in life. Was my hearing difficulty hereditary? Maybe. Getting old sucks. And some people lose their hearing while they are in their 20's, 30's or 40's. Life sucks. Ears suck. Keep reading.

Finally, I could stand it no longer. I could not hear anything at normal volume. I had to get my hearing checked and, if I had to get a hearing aid, so be it. I dreaded making an appointment with an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist but I did. I showed up for my "hearing loss death sentence", and in the examination room sat down in the patient chair. The doctor came in and I said,"Hello, I can't hear." He nodded and proceeded to look in both my ears. Then, to my surprise he said, "Congratulations. You have the most ear wax I have ever seen in my 30 years of practicing medicine." "What?" I replied. He then told me that the reason I thought I was going deaf was because my ear canals were blocked with ear wax. "What?" I replied. "What does that mean? Why is it happening? And how do we fix it?" The doctor said that my ear canals were abnormally shaped and this did not allow the ear wax to normally exit but instead caused my ears to become clogged. I asked him how long had this been going on? Was it a sign of age? He told me that I probably had the increasing wax buildup for decades, that's why I was "hard of hearing". I was not losing my hearing at all, my ears were clogged, my ear canals were not getting rid of earwax as ears normally do and it built up until I could not hear normally. Huh. The doctor proceeded to clean out my ear canals - painlessly. It took like half an hour. He was quite impressed with the amount of ear wax I had accumulated. I said, "It's not my fault that my ear canals are funky."

After the treatment I could hear again! In fact, now that my stupid ear canals were no longer clogged with ear wax, I could hear as good as when I was in my 20's. Maybe better! And I was no longer hard of hearing. And I did not need a hearing aid(s). And I was not going deaf. Wow! I was a happy patient.

And, since my ears did not expel ear wax like normal ears, every six months or so I visited the doctor and he cleaned out my ear canals - and I could hear perfectly again. I had the hearing of a teenager!

That's my story. What's yours? The reason I wrote this true story is that, if you're having trouble hearing, stop delaying and go visit the doctor. Maybe, just maybe, like me you won't need a hearing aid or aren't going deaf. And, even if you are, hearing aids today are tiny and practically invisible. And they even have implants now. So, please go have your hearing checked. It's no fun not being able to hear well, especially if it's easily fixed. Go. Go now. You'll be glad you did. So will everyone around you.




Parents as bad as teens



From NYDailyNews

"Parents of teens have just as egregious a screen habit as their tech-savvy offspring, a new report from the nonprofit Common Sense Media found.

The national survey of almost 1,800 parents of kids ages 8 to 18 found parents spent on average more than nine hours a day with TVs, computers, video game consoles, e-readers, smartphones and other devices — 82% of which was “personal screen media” rather than work-related."

According to NPR, "And despite spending a big chunk of their day with a device, most parents — 78 percent — told the researchers that they are modeling good media habits for their kids."



Good media models for their kids? Really? Parents spend 9 hours a day on their screens and think they are setting a good example for their children? Nine hours a day? If a parent works 8 hours, spends an hour getting to and from work, and gets 6 hours of sleep a night that comes to 15 hours per workday. That leaves 9 hours a day. So, parents, like their kids, are on their screens EVERY minute of their free time? OMG. That leaves no time for a family to talk together, to communicate without distraction, for a parent to teach their kids good values, no time for reality, no time for nature, no time for anything that does not involve a screen. In other words, parents have no time to parent. That is not good for society, or it's children.




Young and nearsighted



From livescience.com

"Teens and young adults who spend more time outdoors may be less likely to become nearsighted later in life than those who spend less time outdoors, a new study suggests.

People in the study who spent more time exposed to ultraviolet B (UVB) radiation — which the researchers calculated based on the participants' exposure to sunlight — between ages 14 and 39 were less likely to be nearsighted at 65 than those who spent less time exposed to UVB radiation, the researchers found.

"Increased UVB exposure was associated with reduced myopia, particularly in adolescence and young adulthood," the researchers wrote in the study, published yesterday (Dec. 1) in the journal JAMA Ophthalmology. Myopia is a term that eye doctors use for nearsightedness, where people can more clearly see objects if they are closer."



Wrong. I say teens and young people who spend all their time indoors are more likely to be nearsighted, not just due to lack of sunlight, but mainly because they are constantly staring at and using their cell phones 24/7, 2 feet from their face! Doing that for years will train your eyes to see clearly things that are close but near zero training on focusing clearly on things that are far away, due to not looking at things farther away than your cell phone. Duh.



can't start 'em too young. or can you?




deadly drowsy driving



From Minneapolis StarTribune

"Drivers who sleep less than seven hours a night significantly raise their risk of getting in a crash, and motorists who miss two to three hours of sleep in a 24-hour period are about as dangerous as those who drive while drunk.

Those are two of the findings of a new study out Tuesday from the AAA Foundation for Traffic Safety looking at the dangers associated with drowsy driving, which is a factor in more than one in five motor vehicle crashes each year."



WOW, driving while drowsy can be deadly! To you and me.

The place to fall asleep is in bed not in the driver's seat.




big time waster



From aol.com

"Ever feel like you spend more time searching for something to watch on TV than actually watching a program? Turns out, that sentiment isn't far from the truth.

A recent study suggests that the average American will waste 23 minutes every day trying to find something to watch. That's 1.3 years of your lifetime wasted on changing channels or sorting through the TV guide."



There's like 900 cable TV channels and often, even during prime time, there's little or nothing good to watch. We wouldn't have to waste 23 minutes a day searching for something to watch if more TV shows were worth watching! Not to mention suffering through way too many TV commercials.




ice cream causes cancer



Common additives in ice cream, margarine, packaged bread and many processed foods may promote cancer scientists said on Wednesday. The researchers focused on emulsifiers, chemicals added to many food products to improve texture and extend shelf life. In mouse experiments, they found emulsifiers can change the species composition of gut bacteria and induce intestinal inflammation. Emulsifiers are used in margarine, mayonnaise, creamy sauces, candy, ice cream, packaged processed foods and baked goods. They can make products like mayonnaise smooth and creamy.

According to National Institutes of Health (nih.gov), a U.S. government website, "Overall, they found more and bigger cancerous tumours in mice given the emulsifiers, in addition to some inflammatory changes. It was suggested the reason could be that emulsifiers altered the balance of gut bacteria, creating an environment more favourable to the development of cancer."

The bad news? Practically everything causes cancer, at least in mice. The good news? According to the U.S. government website: "The mice were fed large doses of the substances not comparable to the levels found in food humans would eat. The mice were also given strong drugs both to cause cancer and trigger bowel inflammation. Without these substances, the emulsifiers alone may have had minimal effect."



Aha! Another bogus health scare by scientists, with accompanying scary media headlines. Humans are not mice. That being the case, I am going to continue to eat ice cream. And cake.




Holy Grail of litter



Coke litter, neatly arranged by the a-hole who dumped it

Today, while taking my morning walk, I found the Holy Grail of disgusting litter. What's the Holy Grail of litter (besides a dead body)? A used condom. It was on the ground, in my parking lot. I couldn't believe it! Yeah, it was disgusting. So disgusting that I took a photo and added it in my "litter blog". Yes, I have a litter blog, where I post interesting and unusual litter photos I have taken in my neighborhood and add funny captions to the photos. If you want to see some fun and funny litter photos go to my litter blog. You'll laugh your ass off.



rain delay



It rained in L.A. on Sunday. It was November, before Thanksgiving. According to the LA Times: "Rain triggers 570% surge in Los Angeles County freeway crashes.

According to statistics from the California Highway Patrol, between 9 p.m. Sunday and 1 a.m. Monday there were 201 reported crashes on L.A. County’s freeways — a 570% increase from the same period last week when the CHP counted 30 crashes."



We had an inch of rain in L.A. on Sunday. One inch. During the same weekend my old hometown, in upstate NY, got 18 inches ... of snow.

An inch of rain in Los Angeles caused a 570% increase in freeway crashes. Bad drivers? Not exactly.

After moving to Los Angeles years ago from the East Coast I noticed that drivers in L.A. do not know how to drive in the rain. Instead of slowing down, they speed up - I think to get to their destination faster and get out of the rain quicker. No, I am not kidding. They also do not understand that the road gets slippery when wet and they do not leave extra stopping distance between their vehicle and the vehicle in front of them. Are L.A. drivers rain-stupid? Yes. Probably because they have no experience in driving in inclement weather. We get 330 sunny days a year in L.A. -- and no snow or ice.

Los Angelenos also tend to stay home from work if it's raining, even a little bit. How's THAT for an excuse not to go to work? "OMG, I can't go out, it's RAINING!" What, they'll melt?

And, on Wednesday December 22, we had a little rain again. According to MyNewsLA: "Nearly 200 crashes were reported in Los Angeles County freeways as a result of the rain that fell in the first of two storm systems forecast to strike the Southland , authorities said.

The California Highway Patrol said there were 191 traffic crashes from 5 p.m. Wednesday to midnight. That’s more than three times as many accidents as on a dry day, said CHP Officer Dion Conley ....

Rainfall totals ranging from a tenth of an inch to a half-inch are expected across Los Angeles and Ventura counties"



Yes, L.A. is different. And trendy. And weird. And warm and sunny. I moved here from the East Coast decades ago, and continue to live here, for the warm and sunny weather. On New Year's Day it is usually 70+ degrees and sunny in L.A. And it rarely rains. But, thanks to my teenage years in upstate New York, I do remember how to drive in the rain. And snow. And ice. And, no, I don't miss those cold days (and weeks) of heavy rain, thigh-high snow and icy roads. Ever.




FDA classifies chocolate as vitamin


(Washington) - The FDA today announced that it has reclassified chocolate as a vitamin.

A spokesperson for the Food and Druggie Administration further clarified, "All chocolate, in all forms, has been reclassified as a vitamin. Dark chocolate, light chocolate, white chocolate, milk chocolate, mocha, cocoa, chocolate covered cherries, chocolate cake, fudge brownies, Hershey's kisses, chocolate bars, chocolate chip cookies ... anything with chocolate in it ... is now a vitamin."

Women throughout the U.S. were thrilled with the new classification. One women at the Mall of America, in Minnesota, screamed, "Wow! This is terrific news for me, I'm a choc-o-holic! Excuse me, I gotta go take my vitamins!"

Health care professionals and nutritionists were a bit perplexed by the government's reclassification while a spokesperson for the Binge-On-Chocolate Association, Lotta Pounds, proclaimed, "We're thrilled! Excuse me, I gotta go stuff myself with chocolate ice cream vitamins"

Pharmacies and drug stores across the nation were also thrilled and scrambled to move all chocolate items from the candy section to the vitamin section.

On the downside, now that chocolate is officially a vitamin, consumers should expect to pay substantially higher prices for the product.

Welcome to America.


This is fake news. I wrote this fake news story in 2007. It was published on the satirical news site, The Spoof, and I am reprinting it here, because it's funny, and may even become true.




rich or wealthy



From time.com/money

"Financial security isn’t a number or a threshold. It has to do with what you spend, and save, relative to your income.

Nothing proves that quite like research on millionaires by wealth management firm UBS. Sixty percent of those with more than $5 million defined themselves as wealthy, compared with 28% of those worth $1 million to $5 million. Yet what millionaires mean by “wealthy” is not necessarily financial independence: Only 10% defined wealthy as not having to work. It’s not even a number; only 16% said surpassing a certain asset threshold automatically made you rich.

The majority — two-thirds of those polled — said the whole point of building wealth was achieving financial security, where a single setback isn’t likely to plunge them into the ranks of the not-rich."



Imagine that. Rich or wealthy. Hmm, which would you rather be? "No, I'm not rich, I'm wealthy". "No, I'm not wealthy, I'm only rich". I'm not greedy, either one is fine with me! And anyway, thanks to inflation, $5 million is the new $1 million. It's a good thing I play the lottery!




misnamed sex act



The thought occurred to me that the sexual act of giving or getting a blowjob is misnamed. There is no "blowing", either on or into the penis. No blowing. There is sucking, licking, maybe spitting on, maybe biting, kissing, deep throating, rubbing the penis during a blowjob - there is no blowing.

The word blowjob is a misnomer, a mislabel, a mistake.

The word "blowjob" needs to be changed. Like the handjob, which involves using the hand(s), or the footjob, which involves the feet, a blowjob involves the mouth - and should be more descriptively and accurately referred to as a mouthjob.

Think about it, you know I'm right. Think about it, who cares what you call it, as long as you get one.




the red bentley



I was out driving one afternoon, doing errands. As I was coming to a stop at a red light I looked over and in the next lane I saw a Bentley. A red Bentley. A red Bentley with a middle aged man driving, alone, in his $200,000+ car. Huh, I thought. Very nice car. But RED? Metallic red? What kind of a color is metallic red for a Bentley? It's like buying a bright red Rolls Royce. WHY? Bentley makes lots of beautiful colors one can choose. They have black, grays, purples, tans, greens, whites, maroons. They even have a Porpoise color (whatever THAT is. Grayish?) A metallic red Bentley? OK, I can see a metallic red color for a Ferrari or some other expensive foreign sports car. Or a Ford Mustang. I can see a metallic red exterior color for a Corvette. OK, red is a cool color - for certain cars. But not for a Bentley. It didn't look right. It didn't look like the exclusive expensive extravagant car that it is. It did not look suave and sophisticated. It looked "cheap". It looked "common". That's just my opinion. Of course, if someone can afford to pay $200,000 or more for a car, they can choose whatever color they want! This is especially true in trendy L.A., the car capital of the world.

When I buy my Bentley (after I win the lottery) I will not choose a red one. Maybe I'll get the porpoise colored one. Then again, depending on how big a lottery jackpot I win, maybe I'll get one in EVERY color! Every color except red.




Bee a butterfly



The caterpillar turns into a butterfly.
So can you.




overweight brain


"People who are overweight show more age-related decline in their brains than lean people do, a new study published in Neurobiology of Aging suggests.

After analyzing imaging from 527 adults, the researchers discovered overweight people—those with a body mass index (BMI) over 25—had lower volumes of white matter in their brains than people with a BMI of under 25 did.

White matter is the tissue that connects different areas of your brain with each other and allows for communication between your neural regions. It helps you with everything from memory to thinking quickly.

In fact, overweight subjects had brains similar to healthy-weight people who were 10 years older."



Huh. Imagine that, being overweight ages your brain by 10 years. Luckily, it doesn't make you any stupider.




dick dick

A neighbor of mine, who is a Baby Boomer, told me that she is adopting a more millennial attitude, the attitude of: "don't know, don't care". Dk, dc. Pronounced dick dick. She said she is now applying dick dick to most things in her life. I see more and more of the dick dick attitude among both men and women today. Why? Possibly because there is TMI (too much information) and we humans can't process it all. News bombards us 24/7 and includes every little thing that happens anywhere and everywhere. TMN (too much news). Add to that everybody using their cell phone to notify each other about every little thing. "Here's a pic of the food I'm going to eat now." Or a text: "I'm in the bathroom (or the shower)." Or sexting photos of their genitals.

We are afflicted with i.o. (information overload). A natural response to this is to shut a lot of stuff out, ignore it, dismiss it, to not know and not care. Dick dick.

Are people today really not knowing and not caring about more and more things in life? Um, dick dick. I don't know and I don't care.



producktive sunday

Today is Sunday. Supposedly the day of rest. On this Sunday I was very pro-duck-tive.

Sunday morning I got up, ate breakfast, edited my blog, did two loads of laundry, went food shopping, did some fashion photography, cleaned the kitchen floor, cleaned the toilet, cleaned the shower doors. I did all these things before noon. WOW! For me, that's being very productive, especially on a Sunday. Then, after doing all that, it was lunch time. I ate lunch. Then took a nap. A well deserved nap.




getting old



Getting old sucks. Old men once had hair, teeth, and a dick that worked. Now they don't. Now they wear a hat, wear dentures, and take viagra.

When they were young, old men used to be strong. Now they can barely walk up the stairs.

Younger guys can eat tasty bad food, drink a lot of booze and party all night. When they get old they can have clogged arteries, a bad liver, and have to go to sleep at 10 o'clock.

It's no fun getting old. But, considering the alternative, being old is better than being dead. Being old may not be fun but being dead is REALLY not fun. The good news about being old is that, when you get old, you acquire wisdom. And peace. And, if you're a guy, you can still look at, and appreciate, pretty women (no, I am not promoting leering or ogling, just looking).

Getting old sucks. Is it worth it? Yes! In spite of the ailments and frailments of getting old - life gets simpler - and often better.




How to win Powerball



Powerball is a lottery game, with big jackpots, played in the U.S. It's played in 44 States, Washington D.C., Puerto Rico, and the US Virgin Islands. Powerball games are held twice a week. Often, the jackpot exceeds $100 million.

The odds of winning the Powerball lottery jackpot are 292 million to 1.

So if you continue to play Powerball twice a week, and continue to not win the jackpot, all you have to do to win is live to be 2.92 million years old.

Hey, that'll motivate you to live to a ripe old age. Of course, if you're 3 million years old the bad news is that you'll probably be too old to enjoy spending any of your Powerball Jackpot. Not to mention that, if you play two $2 Powerball games a week, and win the jackpot 3 million years later, you will have spent about $600 million in doing so.

That's how you can win Powerball. OR, you can play and get lucky NOW!

Yes, I know the above is not statistically accurate. Statistically, each time you play Powerball you actually have a 1 in 292 million chance of winning the jackpot. That's even worse than having to live for 3 million years to win. I don't care, for $2 I play anyway and hope to get lucky NOW.




Ode to dad


I was lucky. I had a great dad. He took an interest in me, took time to be a good dad and, as a result, I had a wonderful childhood in upstate New York.

When I was a kid my dad took me places. Local places. He took me to the circus, on pony rides, to professional wrestling matches, basketball games, baseball games, swimming, bike riding, fruit and vegetable picking, hayrides, sleigh rides and everything else that was available in my town. I never lacked for interesting things to do with my dad. And, as a result, I developed an active interest in many things, including sports. As a 10-year-old kid I participated in playground basketball, baseball, football, tennis, swimming, fishing, ice skating, bike riding, sleigh riding (we lived on a hill), hiking (we lived near a mountain) and everything else a kid could do outside. It was fun. It was active. It was outdoors, in all four seasons. It was a fundamental and priceless non-school education. These activities allowed me to discover who I was, what my limits were, what I enjoyed and what I didn't enjoy, what I was good at and what I was not good at. As it turned out, except for bike riding, I was better at indoor games.

I was a lucky kid. I had a terrific active idyllic childhood and I am very grateful for it - and very grateful to my father for providing it and encouraging it. My early years were my life's formative experiences and, luckily, they were mostly good experiences, experiences which stood me in good stead throughout my entire lifetime. Thanks, dad, for helping me become me. You did a good job.




get paid for lying

From ABC News
"Telling little fibs leads down a slippery slope to bigger lies — and our brains adapt to escalating dishonesty, which makes deceit easier, a new study shows.

Neuroscientists at the University College London's Affective Brain Lab put 80 people in scenarios where they could repeatedly lie and get paid more based on the magnitude of their lies. They said they were the first to demonstrate empirically that people's lies grow bolder the more they fib."



Really? I could have told them that. People get paid MORE for bigger lies? What do you think they're going to do? Hmm, let's see, the choice is money or truth? Choose one or the other? Gee, what should people do? What WILL they do? Especially if they're not a millionaire. Duh.




freedom of speech




Freedom of speech. The first amendment. What does the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution actually say ... and mean?

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."

CONGRESS shall make no law. Congress. That means the government. That means that the U.S. GOVERNMENT, and ONLY the government, shall not interfere with/abridge your freedom of speech. This does not apply to any private organization or person, only to the government. That means that you have no freedom of speech when it comes to corporations, companies, the workplace, the INTERNET, your cell phone service and other private entities. And non-governmental people. OMG! Hmm. I don't know about you but I never realized that before. Since I was old enough to walk and talk I thought we Americans had freedom of speech ANYWHERE and EVERYWHERE.

Turns out we don't.


It appears that our freedom of speech in America is NOT guaranteed, except as it applies to the government. Freedom of speech protection apparently does not apply to the private sector. That being the case, when we are out and about should we start watching what we say, who we say it to, and where we say it? Apparently.



billboard for a dream



I had a dream. A weird dream. I do not understand why I had the dream, it made no sense.

I dreamt that I was trying to access Billboard.com on my computer and could not access the website.

Billboard is a leading big time music publication. I have no real life reason, or interest, in going to Billboard.com.

In my dream my computer was working fine and I could access other sites but, for some unknown reason, I was having trouble going to billboard.com and was frustrated because, for some unknown reason, it was important that I go to billboard.com. In my dream accessing Billboard was an ongoing money making proposition for me (I don't know why) and that day this access was worth $4,000. Yet, for some unknown reason, I was unable to gain access to the site. There was no error message, my browser(s) simply could not access the website. I kept trying, with the same result. Then I woke up.

This was a weird dream. I never go to billboard.com. I have no reason to go to billboard.com. I am not in the music business. I don't write songs; books and blogs yes, songs, no. I don't know any performers or agents or managers or record company staff in the big time music business. Normally I don't even LISTEN to music! Why am I dreaming about being unable to access Billboard.com?

A dream is supposed to reflect our emotions or outside influences. It's our brain absorbing, understanding and filing stuff, in it's own "language". I can understand dreaming about not accessing something, maybe I'm feeling blocked, shut out of something (I can't imagine what) but Billboard.com, a music business website? Where did THAT come from? So why did I have a weird dream about being unable to access the Billboard website? I have no idea. Any thoughts?




I do not speak tech



I read the following report in the tech section of Google News ... and didn't understand one word!

From boingboing.net:

"The fun-lovin' hackers at Adafruit banged together this teensy weensy MAME cabinet over a weekend; it's more of a kludge than a project, and they didn't document the build in its entirety, meaning that making your own is a challenge that the Fruits have thrown down before you.

The idea came about while discussing a gaming “bonnet” — a small accessory board precisely fitted to the Raspberry Pi Zero form-factor — which would include a few basic controls and a tiny monochrome OLED display.



Yes, techies have their own language. Kludge? Bonnet? Form-factor? MAME? MAME stands for Multiple Arcade Machine Emulator (whatever THAT is). I never heard of these terms but then again I'm old, non-technical, speak and write traditional English and live in the real world, on the planet Earth.

And in case you don't know, Adafruit Industries is not a food company. According to Wikipedia it's an open-source hardware company based in New York City. It was founded by Limor Fried in 2005, in her Massachusetts Institute of Technology dorm room. She is a former MIT hacker and an engineer. Her goal was to create the best place online for learning electronics and making the best designed products for makers of all ages and skill levels. Adafruit has expanded offerings to include tools, equipment and electronics that Limor personally selects, tests and approves before going in to the Adafruit store. Limor was the first female engineer on the cover of WIRED magazine.

Here is a photo of Limor Fried:

She's the one on the left

And here is what a Adefruit miniature MAME Cabinet looks like:





to be a painter



Lately I have been having a daydream. What's the daydream? The daydream is that I would love to be an artist painter.

Being an artist appeals to me. Being a painter appeals to me. The colors, the images, the light, the shapes, the creativity, the vision put on canvas. I would love to be a painter, to create art, art which hopefully would sell in art galleries for tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands, or millions, of dollars per painting. Not to mention the groupies I could have. Ah, what a life that would be. Sitting in front of an easel, indoors and sometimes outdoors, bringing forth art, bringing forth creative artistic magical moments with paint and brush. Magical hours and days of high expectation, high frustration and high satisfaction. Me in sync with the easel, creating art.

I would love to be a painter. A good painter. A great painter. So why don't I become a painter? Because I can't paint. I know little or nothing about how to paint. When I was in kindergarten, we had art class and we used to paint and draw. I was lousy at it. In fact, even with crayons, I couldn't color within the lines. I still can't color within the lines. At a young age I quickly gave up the idea and the appeal of being an artist painter. Now strangely, a lifetime later, I have the daydream, the fantasy, of being a painter. I do not know why. Yes, I could try it, I could become a artist painter. Yes, I could buy the paints, brushes, canvas - and maybe take some classes - but in my heart I know it would not be a good experience. I would be a lousy painter and it would not make me happy. For me, being an artist painter is a daydream, a fantasy, no doubt just a temporary longing, a passing desire. Every dream need not be pursued, only the ones that don't go away. Perhaps I will lovingly and longingly keep the fantasy of being an artist painter - and stick to writing.

They say "a picture is worth a thousand words". Maybe the reverse is true. Maybe a thousand words is worth a picture.




too hot coffee



My coffee is too hot and I can't figure out why.

I add a little vanilla ice cream to my coffee when I have coffee at home. I have 2-3 cups a day. I add Dreyer's Slow Churned Classic Vanilla ice cream. It has less fat and less sugar than the regular vanilla ice cream. I know, adding ice cream to your coffee sounds a bit weird but the vanilla ice cream adds flavor, makes it creamier, like cafe au lait, and immediately makes the coffee cool enough to start drinking without waiting until it cools off on its own. I enjoy coffee at home that way. Yes, I know, it's not trendy. And it's not Starbucks. And it doesn't cost $5 a cup. I've been doing it that way for decades and it works great, at least for me. At least it worked until now. The last 1.5 quart container of this ice cream I bought does not cool off my coffee immediately when I add it. For the past several days, when I add my usual amount of this ice cream, my coffee has been too hot to drink immediately. The ice cream does not instantly cool it off enough to drink it, like it used to do. How could cold ice cream not be cold enough? I checked my freezer and it's working fine, everything in there is cold, if not rock solid and frozen, including my ice cream. Why is my Dreyer's Slow Churned Classic Vanilla suddenly not cold enough to immediately cool off my coffee so I can drink it?

I am not a food chemist so I don't know why this ice cream no longer quickly cools my coffee when I add it. It's a mystery. An annoying mystery. It used to work perfectly, this ice cream would cool my coffee enough to drink it immediately. Now it doesn't. I use the same amount of ice cream in my coffee as I always have. I use the same cup for my morning coffee (yes, I wash it). And my spoons are the same size they have always been. And I have used the exact same jar of instant coffee for weeks. And water boils at the same temperature as it always has, 212 degrees Fahrenheit, 100 degrees Celsius. It isn't the coffee, the cup, the boiling water or the spoon, it's gotta be the ice cream. Now I have to wait a few extra minutes for my coffee to be less hot - or risk burning my lips, tongue, mouth and/or throat. Now I have to wait an extra five minutes in the morning in order to drink my coffee, wake up, and face the world. Hey, I'm busy, and sleepy, I don't want to have to wait! And, no, I don't want to put an ice cube in my coffee.

I do not know what happened. Suddenly, the ice cream doesn't work? It doesn't cool my coffee? And I had the same problem with another flavor: Dreyer's Slow Churned French Vanilla. Could Dreyer's have added or removed or changed a basic component of their ice cream, the cooling component? Is their ice cream no longer cold? I don't know, that seems impossible, impossible yet possibly true. All I know is that if something ain't broke, don't fix it! That includes my morning coffee.




will strippers become hookers?



stealing her hard earned money

The State of Louisiana has raised the legal age for exotic dancers from 18 to 21. Why? To combat sex trafficking.

Is this law a good idea? Let's see. Among other things, the law will prevent many female high school graduates from going to college, as the law would prevent 18, 19, 20 year-old females from becoming even a part time exotic dancer. Thus, the law may have the unintended consequence of preventing young women of legal age (18) from earning enough money to afford college.

The state is being sued on the law, for discrimination. In a federal lawsuit, the dancers say the law violates the First Amendment by denying them freedom of expression, and violates the Constitution's equal protection clause by unfairly targeting women.

How so? They say the law's definition of strip club performers as "entertainers whose breasts or buttocks are exposed to view" fails to prohibit the same conduct by male strippers who are between the ages of 18 and 21. Hey, fair and equal means fair and equal, right?

One plaintiff says she has witnessed pimps and prostitutes trying to use the new law in a New Orleans strip club to "recruit entertainers who are now lawfully employed, but who will lose their jobs as a result of the Act."

Another plaintiff, identified as an 18-year-old LSU student, says other dancers under 21 have told her they plan to switch to prostitution once they can no longer dance.



Once again, politicians and bureaucrats, in trying to make things better, will make things worse. Congratulations, Louisiana, in combating sex trafficking this law will probably create more used and abused and exploited young women. This law will rob women, age 18-20, of an excellent job opportunity and a lucrative career and a way to pay for college. And will motivate 18-20 year-old female strippers to turn into hookers and call girls and sex workers. With this law the State of Louisiana is taking away a young woman's right to earn a legal living as an 18-20 year-old exotic dancer. Thus the state may, in reality, be helping to create more hookers and more illegal prostitution. And more abused and exploited and sex trafficked young women. And that helps young women, how?

This law is a bad idea. Repeal it.




A ban on pressure cookers



cooking up a bomb?

Terrorists seem to like making bombs out of pressure cookers. I understand that maybe it's because pressure cookers have a tight seal and apparently that makes for a good bomb. I wouldn't know. In any event, using "liberal logic", if pressure cookers are being used to create violence and death then let's ban pressure cookers! Yes, it's just like the gun issue. Let's treat pressure cookers the same as guns. People use guns to kill people so we should ban guns. People use pressure cookers to kill people so we should ban pressure cookers!

Plus, unlike guns, Americans have no Constitutional right to own a pressure cooker. So taking away people's pressure cookers should be a lot easier.

Let's ban pressure cookers! Let's take away your pressure cooker! C'mon, nobody really needs to own a pressure cooker. And, if you do use a pressure cooker, you need to change your eating habits and stop using a pressure cooker - it's the least you can do to save lives! Thanks to a-hole terrorists pressure cookers are dangerous! Pressure cookers harm others! Ban pressure cookers! Or, at the very minimum, make it difficult to get a pressure cooker and make people get a license to own one. And make a law that says people have to keep their pressure cooker at home locked up in a "pressure cooker safe". And make sure they can't legally carry a concealed pressure cooker in public.

Yeah, that'll work. Banning guns will make America safer from criminals. Banning pressure cookers will make America safer from terrorists. Yeah, sure it will. No more pressure cookers, no more terrorism!

And I don't even mind if America DOES ban pressure cookers - because I don't cook!



Yes, this entry, a ban on pressure cookers, is satire. I'm kidding. Or not.




what's your intention?



When driving a vehicle and there's other vehicles around you, if you want to make a turn, or make a lane change, please use your freaking turn signal!

Other drivers (like me) need to know that you intend to make a turn, right or left, so we can safely accommodate you, and not smash into your ass. Whenever you are going to make a turn, let other drivers (behind and in front of you) know, by using your turn signal. I am not a mind reader, I don't know that you are about to make a turn unless you let me know.

You are piloting a potentially deadly 4,000 pound vehicle. Please let everyone know what you intend to do with it. Be smart - use your turn signal! Unless you prefer that we smash into you.

In traffic, making a turn without using your turn signal is downright dangerous. Using your turn signal is common safety. And common courtesy. And common sense. Use it! Make it a habit.

AND, at dusk/dark, turn on your headlights!



they never ask me



They never ask for MY opinion

There are lots of opinion polls. There are opinion polls for everything. Poll topics include every aspect of society - elections, sex, food, pets, entertainment, hobbies and habits - name any subject and some organization is probably taking a poll on it. So why don't they ever poll ME? I never get polled. I never get a phone call or an email or online questionnaire or ANY invitation asking for my opinions on ANY topic reflecting the society in which I live. I'm part of society, why don't they ever ask MY opinion? I have lots of opinions, lots of beliefs, and lots of time to answer questions on a societal survey. Why don't the major polling organizations, like Gallup Poll, Harris Poll, Pew Research, and Nielsen (hey, I watch TV too!) ever poll ME? Every week (every day?) they poll thousands of people all across the nation. They never poll me. I have never been polled by a major polling organization, on any topic. Hey, I would enjoy making my opinions known for the record. I would like to be part of "public opinion". I DESERVE to be asked for my opinion on a subject. Yet I never am. I never get polled. Nobody calls me and asks who am I going to vote for - or why. Nobody ever calls and asks me if I believe in man-made global warming. Nobody calls me and asks if I think people who don't have celiac disease but eat only gluten-free food are malnourishing themselves.

Nobody ever polls me. There's thousands of polls being taken, on thousands of topics, and I never get to give my opinion on any of them. That makes me feel left out. I feel isolated and ignored. I feel like my opinion doesn't matter - and isn't being counted. Because it's NOT. Well, I've had enough! My opinion DOES matter! And that's why I write this blog.




drinking causes cancer



Drinking is the new smoking

From metro.co.uk

"It looks like alcohol is the new tobacco, with a study finding that it causes as many as seven different types of cancer.

Researchers found there was more than a coincidental link between alcohol and the disease, and that incidence was so high it was unlikely to be explained by something else.

Writing in the journal Addiction, Jennie Connor, from the University of Otago in New Zealand, said alcohol is estimated to have caused around half a million deaths from cancer in 2012 alone – or 5.8% of cancer deaths worldwide.

Drinking was linked to cancer of the mouth and throat, larynx, esophagus, liver, colon, bowel and breast, even in people who drink low to moderate amounts.

‘There is strong evidence that alcohol causes cancer at seven sites [of the body], and probably others,’ Connor said. According to current evidence, there is no safe level of drinking when it comes to cancer – although the risks for some types of cancer go down when people stop drinking.



OMG! Here's ANOTHER thing that kills you - drinking. We were recently told by medical science that a couple of drinks a night was good for your heart. Now they tell us that, if you drink, you'll die. Now they tell us that if you drink, your heart might be healthy but you'll die of cancer in 7 different parts of your body??? Now, alcohol is the new smoking?

Seems like everything we do, or eat, or drink, kills us. Can't we have ANY fun?




a fatter America



From US News and World Report

"There's no doubt about it: Americans are getting heavier and heavier. But new U.S. estimates may still come as a shock -- since the late 1980s and early 1990s, the average American has put on 15 or more additional pounds without getting any taller.

Even 11-year-old kids aren't immune from this weight plague, the study found. Girls are more than seven pounds heavier even though their height is the same. Boys gained an inch in height, but also packed on an additional 13.5 pounds compared to two decades ago.

The new statistics were released Aug. 3 in a report from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's National Center for Health Statistics.



In the past 20+ years in the U.S. average body weight has increased by 15 or more pounds. And, according to other credible studies, the average IQ has fallen and the average attention span has decreased by 25%.


That's the new America? Where we are getting fatter and dumber, with the attention span of a goldfish? And that's good, how?

C'mon people, we're better than that. We can DO better than that! Have some pride in yourself - and get your sh-t together!




death penalty for robocalls



I got another unwanted robocall asking if I wanted my carpet cleaned. It was a lengthy message explaining all the wonderful benefits of having my carpet cleaned by said company. AND, if I made an appointment right now they would clean my hallway carpet - FREE. Such a deal. Except that I don't need, or want, my carpet cleaned. And I do not want unwanted robocalls bothering me while I am working on my blog. I pressed "1" and spoke to an appointment/sales person. She introduced herself and was very pleasant. I told her, "My phone number is registered with the Do Not Call Registry, with the federal government in Washington, D.C. Take me off your robocall list." I hung up.

I have been registered with the federal Do Not Call Registry since 2003. I get illegal solicitation phone calls every day. Obviously, the annoying unwanted illegal callers are not paying attention to the Do Not Call Registry or the federal law.

To get their attention, I propose that all illegal callers, robotic and otherwise, and the owners of the illegal calling company, who call phones listed on the Do Not Call Registry, if they are caught and convicted, automatically get the death penalty.

If a state does not have the death penalty, the illegal callers get life imprisonment, without the possibility of parole.

THAT ought to make them stop calling me. And you.

UPDATE: from theverge.com, August 19, 2016
"Apple and Google have joined a coalition of more than 30 tech companies and telecoms focused on combating automated phone calls, according to Reuters. Called the "Robocall Strike Force," the group is led by the Federal Communications Commission, which held its first hearing on the subject today in Washington, DC."

Hmm. I wrote Death Penalty For Robocalls on August 1 and two weeks later Apple and Google join the fight against robocalls. Coincidence? Or do influential people at Apple and Google read my blog?






balcony laundry




Balcony laundry

Lately, my large upscale apartment complex in L.A. is starting to resemble parts of Europe, or a third-world slum. This is due in part to management renting to short term overseas tourists and to students.

Many tenants now routinely put all manner of clothes outside to dry. Not just bathing suits and dirty wet towels after a dip in our pool or jacuzzi but residents and guests also hang dry all their underwear, shirts, pants, socks, etc on the balcony. It's unsightly, like litter. And then they just leave the clothes on the balcony for days, sometimes weeks, well after the stuff is dry.

Unlike a number of other countries, in America we not only have washing machines we also have driers. Please use them. Why? Because, regarding outdoor balconies, I don't want to see panties and bras out there drying. Unless a woman is in them.




peanuts



Peanuts. An interesting food. An interesting word. You can also make a lot of other words from the letters in peanuts.

p-e-a-n-u-t-s


If you remove n-u-t-s, you have pea.

If you remove the "p", the "e", and the "t" you have "anus".

If you remove the "a" and the "t" you have "penus".

if you remove p-e-a, you have "nuts", to go with the penus.




secondhand pot smoke kills


Bad news for pot smokers


Secondhand pot smoke may be more dangerous than secondhand tobacco smoke

From Fox News

"Exposure to secondhand marijuana smoke may impair cardiovascular function as much as exposure to tobacco smoke, new research suggests.

The study, which was published Wednesday in the Journal of American Heart Association, found that, in mice, inhalation of secondhand marijuana smoke for one minute diminished blood vessel function to the same degree as inhalation of tobacco smoke for the same amount of time. Researchers also found these cardiovascular effects lasted longer in the mice exposed to marijuana smoke.

Study authors, from the University of California, San Francisco, examined the reduction of flow mediated dilation (FMD) — a process in which increased blood flow forces arteries to open further — in response to secondhand smoke. This reduction, they said, impedes blood flow and puts the individual at risk for various heart problems.

“Your blood vessels can carry more blood if they sense that they need to pass more blood to the tissues,” senior study author Dr. Matthew Springer, a medicine professor at UC San Francisco, said in a news release. “They dilate to allow more blood through. But that’s inhibited by exposure to smoke.”

Researchers exposed the mice to roughly the equivalent amount of smoke found in restaurants that allow smoking. They found that, in the rodents exposed to one minute of marijuana smoke, there was a more than 50 percent reduction in FMD, the same percent reduction seen in mice that contacted cigarette smoke.

FMD in mice exposed to tobacco smoke, however, recovered in 30 minutes. In mice that inhaled marijuana smoke, FMD took 90 minutes to recover completely— the effects on blood vessel function lasting three times longer than the effects from cigarette smoke.



Many states have now legalized the use of marijuana, and many cities in America allow smoking pot, while at the same time over-regulating, overtaxing and even banning the smoking of tobacco (and its secondhand smoke) in public places. This smoking ban also includes electronic cigarettes - which contain NO tobacco and emits NO smoke. Hmm. And that makes sense, how? In any event, with the new research finding that secondhand smoke from marijuana may be more dangerous than secondhand smoke from cigarettes, will those states immediately repeal laws making marijuana legal and - for health and medical reasons and based on this new research - will all the cities that ban smoking also immediately ban smoking pot in public places? I'll bet they won't. I bet they won't ban smoking pot until and unless the powerful anti-smoking (and anti-vaping) zealots influence politicians to do so. Really? Yes, that's the way it works when it comes to smoking (and other things political). The American political/legal system is rigged and, yes, it's rigged at the state and local level too. For the moment that's GOOD news for pot smokers, who can continue to harm people around them with secondhand pot smoke.




air conditioners will kill you



In Vienna, Austria, at a meeting to reduce/eliminate a chemical expelled into the air from air conditioners, the U.S. Secretary of State made a statement saying air conditioners were as dangerous as terrorists. No, I am not kidding. See for yourself ...

From the U.S. government State Department's own website:

"But the truth is our goal for these talks – amending the Montreal Protocol to phase down HFCs – is one of the single most important unitary steps that we could possibly take at this moment to stave off the worst impacts of climate change and to protect the future for people in every single corner of the globe. Yesterday, I met in Washington with 45 nations – defense ministers and foreign ministers – as we were working together on the challenge of Daesh, ISIL, and terrorism. It’s hard for some people to grasp it, but what we – you – are doing here right now is of equal importance (because it has the ability to literally save life on the planet itself)"



There you have it. And you thought terrorism was a big threat and your a/c was not. The U.S. government says terrorism and air conditioning are an equal threat. That being the case, a case made by a high-ranking U.S. government idiot, should we Americans now fear that our air conditioners will rise up in the name of Allah and kill us?






simple stuff



New stuff is frustrating. Why do I say new stuff is frustrating? Here's why ...

New products and services today are too complicated and difficult to use. It seems like companies and organizations today don't bother to check with consumers BEFORE they roll out a new product or service or upgrade. If they did, they would never put out the stupid stuff they put out. Instead of testing new stuff with actual normal users BEFORE they launch it, they just launch it. And frustrate the consumer.

Here are some recent examples:

My Chrysler 200 car automatically turns on the radio when you start the vehicle. There is no way to un-program that (I looked it up, there is NO way). I don't want the radio to automatically come on when I start the car. The radio automatically turns on and I have to take extra steps, I have to push buttons and turn knobs, to then turn it off. This happens EVERY time I start the vehicle. I, and many other drivers, do NOT want the radio to automatically turn on when the car is started. It is annoying. Why didn't Chrysler ask consumers if they wanted the radio to turn on automatically when the car was started BEFORE they designed it to do that? Or at least give consumers a simple way to disable that??? They didn't feel the need to do so?

Electronic devices especially are getting more and more complicated. They seem to be designed for technical professionals, or technically talented amateurs, NOT regular non technical users. Why does my TV remote have 46 buttons, most of which we consumers will never use? And why did Microsoft force me to upgrade to a new operating system, a new operating system that doesn't do many of the things I, the user, want it to do or that is so complicated that I, the user, can't figure out how to use my computer?

Computers, tablets and cell phones are so complicated (and un-intuitive) that only 11-year-old geeks can figure out how to use them. And 11-year-olds do NOT buy expensive electronic devices!

Why don't makers of products and services hold focus/testing groups of NORMAL adult non technical users before they launch products so complicated that normal adults have to take a course in order to use them? And forget reading the instruction manual (if they even give you one)! They are written in incomprehensible gobbeldygook, or are so complicated they might as well be.

So many products and services. New, improved, upgraded products and services flood the market. And we, the consumer, are being ignored at the design stage. When you buy it, stuff is not easy to operate, often doesn't work well, may be defective, or requires a tutor to show you how to use it. It's designed by insider professionals who don't ask what we like or don't like about a product or service before they shove it down our throats. Who do they think is buying and using their products and services? Consumers. We, the consumer, are paying for new goods and services that all too often may NOT be improvements, they are just more complicated to use. And nobody is bothering to ask for our input BEFORE these new products and services are launched.

It's a new "take it or leave it" consumer economy. "Here's our product, deal with it". Take it or leave it. And, based on many of my recent consumer experiences, if they don't start checking with "normal" adult consumers before they launch a new or improved product, and start making stuff that makes sense and is easy to use, I'm gonna start choosing to "leave" it.






apples


It used be said, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away."




Now it's, "An Apple a day keeps the reality away."


You may have to have to be "older" to find that funny. Young people may not get the humor of it, or the truth.