A ban on pressure cookers



cooking up a bomb?

Terrorists seem to like making bombs out of pressure cookers. I understand that maybe it's because pressure cookers have a tight seal and apparently that makes for a good bomb. I wouldn't know. In any event, using "liberal logic", if pressure cookers are being used to create violence and death then let's ban pressure cookers! Yes, it's just like the gun issue. Let's treat pressure cookers the same as guns. People use guns to kill people so we should ban guns. People use pressure cookers to kill people so we should ban pressure cookers!

Plus, unlike guns, Americans have no Constitutional right to own a pressure cooker. So taking away people's pressure cookers should be a lot easier.

Let's ban pressure cookers! Let's take away your pressure cooker! C'mon, nobody really needs to own a pressure cooker. And, if you do use a pressure cooker, you need to change your eating habits and stop using a pressure cooker - it's the least you can do to save lives! Thanks to a-hole terrorists pressure cookers are dangerous! Pressure cookers harm others! Ban pressure cookers! Or, at the very minimum, make it difficult to get a pressure cooker and make people get a license to own one. And make a law that says people have to keep their pressure cooker at home locked up in a "pressure cooker safe". And make sure they can't legally carry a concealed pressure cooker in public.

Yeah, that'll work. Banning guns will make America safer from criminals. Banning pressure cookers will make America safer from terrorists. Yeah, sure it will. No more pressure cookers, no more terrorism!

And I don't even mind if America DOES ban pressure cookers - because I don't cook!



Yes, this entry, a ban on pressure cookers, is satire. I'm kidding. Or not.