Stu Pitt Stuff

Welcome to Stu Pitt Stuff

Online since 2009

Stu Pitt Stuff is a fun and funny blog (and often brilliant and occasionally serious). Based in America (in trendy L.A.) Stu Pitt Stuff uses humor, rants and satire to poke fun and fury at stupidity and hypocrisy (and other stuff) wherever it is.

Stu Pitt Stuff - it's everywhere

Not only popular in America, Stu Pitt Stuff also has readers from UK, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Netherlands, Portugal, Ireland, Sweden, China, Hong Kong, Japan, India, Russia, Australia, Mexico, Singapore, Brazil, Canada, Philippines, Saudi Arabia, Tanzania, and other countries.

And Stu Pitt Stuff is interactive - You are invited to comment on any of the posts.

Read and enjoy.

copyright 2017. All rights reserved.

me, the people

America was founded on the democratic principle of "we, the people". I changed it to

lottery clotheshorse

As I was awaiting the Mega Millions lottery drawing, where I was planning/hoping to win the $123 million jackpot, a thought occurred to me: what would I do with all that money? The answer? Anything I wanted to do! Then, I realized something. If I won $123 million I would not change my current wardrobe. Not needing to get dressed up or wear a suit, I normally wear jeans and a t-shirt. As a multi-millionaire, I would still wear the same clothes, and the same style.

I wear $14 jeans from Walmart, $20 shoes from Walmart, and $7 t-shirts, from a local convenience store, amazon, or a cheap local department store. On my head, I wear a cheap baseball-style hat, which I buy on amazon or at CVS. When the weather is cold, I wear a leather jacket (see my photo upper right), which I also bought at CVS, years ago, for under $30. And I wear a watch, a $22 watch, which I originally bought at Target and, years later, purchased an exact replica replacement on amazon.

I look good in clothes, even cheap clothes, but I am not a clotheshorse. If/when I win a ton of money in the lottery I would not change my look, I would not become a clotheshorse. Even though I would well be able to afford $400 jeans and $400 t-shirts I wouldn't do it, I have no need to be "uber fashionable". And, no, I would not buy a $10,000 Rolex either. At this stage of life, I don't want to dress "fancy", I just want to be comfortable. And $123 million would make me comfortable. Very comfortable.

pizza birds

As I was walking around outside, I noticed a bird, a small sparrow, picking at a large piece of pizza crust on the ground. The bird was enjoying the meal. He seemed to be enjoying the taste of the pizza crust. He was actively picking at it. As I walked near, the bird flew away, even though I told him to stay and enjoy his pizza crust meal. A few minutes later I returned again and the bird was back, snacking away on the pizza crust on the ground. Once again, as I neared, the bird flew away. I was sad. Sad that I, a human, had interrupted the bird's feeding. I hoped the bird would return, and finish his meal.

That pizza crust - that litter - could have fed a lot of non-humans that live near my residence, non-humans such as birds, squirrels, coyotes, raccoons, skunks, bees, butterflies, snakes, deer, and maybe even a mountain lion. No, I don't know which animals like to eat pizza and which do not. I know that sparrow did!

Pizza crust litter on the ground. Human litter. Human litter being recycled, by non-humans. The thought occurred to me that, sometimes, litter might be good for the environment. It might be a good (or bad) addition to the food chain. It depends on the litter. Does that mean that the next time I eat a pizza, I will toss some crust on the ground? No. Maybe.

Los Angeles To Ban Take-Out Food

Let's ban take-out food

From MyNewsLA

Those take-out food containers of polystyrene — often called Styrofoam — would be banned in Los Angeles under a motion introduced Friday by two City Council members.

In addition to take-out containers, the material is used for numerous other manufacturing purposes, including medical devices, red drink cups for beer pong, packing materials and even surfboards.

City Councilman, Paul Koretz, introduced the motion with Councilman Bob Blumenfield. “Because polystyrene doesn’t biodegrade, it can absorb toxins found in the ocean, which poses a danger to marine species that mistake foam for food,” Koretz said. “The fish and wildlife are the barometer of the health of our larger environment. I’m gravely concerned that the food chain will continue to grow ever more toxic if we don’t exchange our bad habits for better ones.”

“Now more than ever, we in Los Angeles and in California must stand up and fight to protect our environment and ensure that future generations enjoy clean mountains and beaches,” Blumenfield said.

“Polystyrene is dangerous, toxic and is an unnecessary product. It is our duty to protect our environment regardless of what is happening in Washington, D.C. With people like Scott Pruitt running the EPA, reversing decades of environmental progress, it is up to us to make sure that California’s beauty is protected.”

Hey, you city council clowns, leave my take-out food alone! If Styrofoam is banned, how will people be able to take away food they buy? For instance, I get take-out Chinese food weekly and it comes in a Styrofoam container. Weekly, I get a big delicious take-out tuna sandwich (and a side of potato salad) at my local deli, and it comes in a Styrofoam container.

If the Los Angeles City Council bans Styrofoam, how will I (and millions of others) take away take-out food? In many cases, there IS no alternative for these Styrofoam containers!!! And the out-of-touch f-ing city council clowns think it's an "unnecessary product"??? Obviously, these clowns don't get take-out.

The stupid crazy L.A. City Council clowns, in their overly-zealous environmental frenzy to ban Styrofoam, are interfering with MY food chain. Leave my take-out food alone!

Wishy washy

From the BBC

How to wash your hands - according to the experts

"Washing your hands properly should take about as long as singing Happy Birthday twice (about 20 seconds)

Wet hands and apply enough soap to cover the whole surface of the hand

Rub palms together with fingers interlaced

Rub each palm over the back of the other hand with interlaced fingers

Rub between fingers on each hand

Rub backs of fingers (interlocked)

Rub around each thumb

Rub both palms with finger tips and then rinse with warm or cold water

Dry your hands well, ideally with a disposable towel

Use a disposable towel to turn off the tap"

After many many years of washing my hands now I find out I was doing it wrong! I always simply wet my hands, soaped them up, rubbed my hands together for a bit, and rinsed them off. Then dried them. I had no idea washing your hands was so complicated and had so many steps. I may have to take a class: Hand Washing 101.

White bread is good

Newsflash! White bread is as nutritious as wheat bread.


Processed white bread is often shunned by health experts due to its low nutritional value. Sales of 'unhealthy' processed white bread have plummeted by 75 per cent since 1974.

"Researchers at Israel’s Weizmann Institute of Science monitored the gut bacteria and levels of fat, cholesterol, glucose and essential minerals such as calcium and iron in 20 healthy people. Half the participants were given a higher-than-average amount of fresh whole-wheat sourdough bread to consume for a week, and the others were given the same portion of processed, packaged white bread.

“The initial finding, and this was very much contrary to our expectation, was that there were no clinically significant differences between the effects of these two types of bread on any of the parameters that we measured,” said the study’s senior author Professor Eran Segal"

For decades we've been told that white bread is not nutritious, is not as good for you as wheat bread or other bread. And now they find out it's not true? That means, for decades, I've been depriving myself of tasty sandwiches - on tasty white bread - for nothing. Depriving myself, thanks to all the stupid health experts, who were wrong - again. Now, excuse me, I'm going to go to the supermarket, buy some bread, and make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich ... on WHITE bread.

Eek, a mouse!

I was attacked in my house by a mouse. I was attacked by a Logitech computer mouse.

Here's what happened

My wireless Logitech mouse stopped working. Suddenly, it was dead. I figured it was the battery. I turned the mouse over and proceeded to replace the battery.

Ouch! I got cut. The mouse bit me! I went to take off the battery cover and somewhere, around the battery compartment, was a sharp area, a dangerous area. It cut me! It hurt. My finger started to bleed. I washed the cut with soap and water and put triple antibiotic ointment on the cut.

Soon, my finger started to noticeably swell up, And it still hurt. I became worried that it was becoming infected.

This was a huge problem as I cannot tolerate taking antibiotics; they upset my stomach horribly. The last time I had to take an antibiotic, I tried 3 different ones. I could not tolerate any of them and my stomach was messed up - for 2 months.

I looked at my injured finger. I became upset. I became upset at the mouse. And the company who made it. How dare a company make a mouse that injures you, that cuts you, when you try to change the battery!?

Logitech dominates the market. It is difficult to find any other mouse maker than fits the hand so well. And now my Logitech mouse bit the hand that feeds it. I have used a Logitech mouse for decades, replacing them when they wore out. No problems. Now, their latest mouse, the M325, bit me.

I was not only concerned about my own injury, I was also concerned that other people might be injured in the same way. I decided to contact Logitech and tell them about their defective product and my resulting injury. They emailed back and asked what I would like them to do about it. I responded,

"1. I would like Logitech to fix the design of their mouse; to not have sharp areas in and around the battery compartment.

2. I would also like monetary compensation for my cut finger. I am an author (22 books) and a blogger and the cut finger makes it painful to type and/or use the mouse. It has not yet healed and may also be infected. I think $500 is reasonable compensation for my pain and suffering."

They responded and said they would call me. They asked for my phone number and the best time to call me. I gave it to them. It took them 12 days to contact me. My Logitech mouse injury issue is not resolved.

At this point I am not happy with Logitech, their mouse that caused me harm, and their lackadaisical response to my injury. As a result, I hereby vow to never again buy another Logitech mouse. And, no, I am no longer using the mouse that bit me; I packed it away, as evidence, and bought a new mouse, a different brand.

Need a new mouse? Gonna buy a Logitech? Proceed at your own risk.

stupid movies

For the past few years I have noticed that Hollywood has been making only a few good movies - and lots of stupid ones. I blame millennials. Really? Yes. Prior to younger generations taking over the writing, directing and producing films we used to see good movies, with good character development, interesting plots and watchable scenes. No longer.

From here are the plots of some of the major movie releases in the first few months of 2017.

a lanky Russian kid (Tanner) who ditches his fast-food register job for a one-off thieving gig, with his driver, an aloof strip club waitress looking for the cash to restart her life.

A cat movie. Infiltrating the free-roaming feline population of Istanbul, Kedi squats down to see the world from the eyes of mama cats, young fur balls, and fuzzy loners.

A sheltered vegetarian, Justine, embarking on her first year of French veterinarian school. Justine's frosh year takes a morbid turn when her upperclassman sister forces her to consume meat for the first time, unleashing an insatiable hunger.

The Lost City of Z
Turn-of-the-20th-century military man who embarks to South America to map Bolivia and cleanse his family name of scandal.

Get Out
A black guy harboring the appropriate amount of skepticism over meeting the upper-crust white parents of his girlfriend Rose. As the weekend hours pass, he stumbles into a racially charged conspiracy. Littered with one-liners and laced with tension.

Free Fire
illegal-gun-deal-by-the-docks between a group of IRA fighters, a skeezy arms dealer, and two American representatives for the respective parties, explodes into a firefight when one lower-rung goon accuses another of assaulting his sister at a bar the night prior.

Stupid movies? Did I make my point? There are few movies I have seen in the past 5-10 years that are any good. Or worth watching. I wonder why. No, I don't. Film makers are making stupid movies, way too many stupid movies. I blame millennial film makers. Apparently, they don't know what a good movie is. As a result, I have basically stopped watching or renting movies altogether, thereby reducing at least one area of disappointment.

one leg at a time

There is an old saying,"He puts his pants on one leg at a time". It means that a person who may be bigger than life, or more privileged, is still a human being just like the rest of us, just like you and me. He puts his pants on one leg at a time. The saying is wrong. I thought about it and realized that the saying "He's just like us, he puts his pants on one leg at a time" may be completely untrue.

Here's why. If you sit down, you can put your pants on TWO legs at a time. How? If you are limber, you can sit down, put your pants on the floor, open the legs straight up, and put both legs into your pants, then stand up, putting your pants on BOTH legs at the same time. Or do it while lying on your back. Or, if you're not limber but are rich (or are in a nursing home) you can have someone assist you; they can hold open your pants on the floor, let you step into them and THEN pull them up, putting your pants on two legs at a time.

So, the age-old saying, "He puts his pants on one leg at a time", making everyone the same or equal, may be incorrect, and not true. "He's NOT like us, he puts his pants on BOTH legs at a time".

As for me, I will continue to be just like you, just like everyone else, and put my pants on one leg at a time.

Stop the autoplay!

Everywhere we go online, we have to suffer from videos that start playing on their own. It's called autoplay. And it sucks! This especially happens on news media sites. ALL of them! Suddenly, on whatever site you're on, a video starts playing - all by itself - and annoys the sh-t out of you. Or scares the sh-t out of you. Or, if it's early morning or late at night, wakes someone up who is sleeping in the room.

Autoplay videos. It's f-ing forced advertising. We are FORCED to watch a video. It starts by itself? WTF? We don't get to CHOOSE to watch a video, we are FORCED to start watching a video, a video that annoyingly and suddenly starts playing automatically.

Here's a message to advertisers and media everywhere: Whenever a video starts autoplaying I ALWAYS immediately leave the site. Goodbye! And f you!


Bentley SUV

I was driving out of a local upscale supermarket parking area when I saw this car driving in. I knew the car was something unique and special but it was a little too far away for me to see what kind of car it was. As it got closer I saw what it was. Holy Moly, it was a Bentley. A Bentley SUV! A big, beautiful black Bentley SUV. I didn't even know Bentley made an SUV!

As the vehicle approached, I looked to see who was driving. A movie star? A billionaire? It had to be one of those, or both. It was being driven by a 30 or 40-something blond lady. With a young 11 or 12-year-old boy sitting in the passenger seat. She must have picked the kid up from school. Or was taking him to soccer practice. As the vehicle drew nearer, I looked more closely at the driver. I did not recognize her. But she had to be "somebody". Somebody rich. Why do I say that? Because this Bentley SUV has a price starting at $300,000. Yes, I looked it up. $300,000 is the starting price. With all the extras you'd want to have on the vehicle, who knows how much it would cost? It would probably cost more than a big house in many places in America. WOW!

Los Angeles is the car capital of the world. And the TV, movie and music capital of the world. That being the case, it's not uncommon to see Cadillacs, Lincolns, Range Rovers, Rolls Royces, Maseratis and the occasional Ferrari or Lotus. And lots and lots of of SUV's. But I had never before seen a Bentley SUV.

The Bentley SUV. Without a doubt, the most luxurious soccer mom vehicle on the planet!

porn versus real women

"Excessive pornography viewing is likely to contribute to a risk of sexual dysfunction in men, but not women, according to new research. A panel discussion and presentation held on Friday at the 112th Annual Scientific Meeting of the American Urological Association highlights results from surveys conducted on men and women about pornography viewing habits and the long-term effects on sexual health and intimate behavior.

The researchers, led by Dr. Matthew Christman, a staff urologist and program director for pediatric urology at the Naval Medical Center of San Diego, report that while pornography trivially affects women’s sex lives, an excessive habit can be ruinous to men’s psychosexual health. Essentially, many men who are really into internet porn have the potential to become disinterested in sex with a real-life partner. The researchers suggest that the more time men spend on sites such as PornHub, the less able they’ll be to connect with a partner in the bedroom. This can result in severe damage to sexual and romantic relationships and make intimacy challenging, at best.

Roughly 20 percent of men reported using porn three to five times weekly. Nearly 4 percent of men reported they preferred masturbating to pornography over having sexual intercourse with a partner. The researchers also recognized a correlation between men who used pornography frequently and those who reported lack of sexual desire and intercourse satisfaction, as well as erectile dysfunction."

I think they may have it backwards. Many men have erectile dysfunction. They tend to avoid real life sex - because they don't want to fail at it! They don't want to be unable to achieve an erection in the real life presence of the woman they want to have sex with. Non performance is embarrassing, humiliating and depressing for men. So, a lot of men turn to online porn,and masturbation instead. They avoid real life sex. Because, for whatever reason, they don't want to fail at it.

If the guy viewing porn and masturbating fails to become erect or ejaculate, nobody knows and nobody cares except him. Porn presents less performance risk. Less embarrassment. Less humiliation. In other words, men with sexual dysfunction issues may be avoiding real women, and real sex, and turning to porn instead. Maybe it's not the porn causing the intimacy issue, maybe it's the intimacy issues that causes the porn viewing.

Yes, there is Viagra and other ED drugs. Yes, men with ED ought to use them and use them safely. Yes, and if ED drugs aren't already, they should be cheaper. And covered by insurance.

misleading pizza

So, I was in my local supermarket and was in the mood for pizza for dinner. I went to the frozen food pizza section and finally chose a small DiGiorno. The picture on the package made it look tasty. Plus, the TV ads "it's not delivery, it's DiGiorno" made me decide to try that brand. I put the small frozen pizza in my shopping cart. On the way to the checkout I noticed the nutritional label on the front of the box. I had assumed that this small pizza was not too caloric, not too fatty, not too sugary. I looked at the nutritional info. 9.2 ounces. Small. Not too many calories, not too much fat content. Not too bad. Not bad at all. 340 calories, 7 grams of fat and 6 grams of sugar. I could eat that. Then I noticed, in small letters above the nutrient listing, the serving size. Per 1/2 pizza. WHAT? The serving size was half the pizza. Half a small pizza? Who eats half a small pizza? No one. EVERYONE with an appetite eats the whole 9.2 oz pizza. That meant, if I ate the whole thing (and I planned to) I would be eating DOUBLE the listed nutritional content. That would be 680 calories. 14 grams of fat. 12 grams of sugar. For someone watching their weight and watching their caloric, fat and sugar intake, THAT'S not so healthy!

The lettering for the serving size listed on the box was small. Camouflaged in the pizza picture. Easy to miss. You would also be distracted by the yummy picture of the pizza and, if you looked at the nutrition ingredients you might never notice the 1/2 pizza serving size. As far as I'm concerned, the packaging is misleading! 1/2 pizza indeed! Who eats half a small single serving frozen pizza? Nobody! Is DiGiorno trying to hide the obesity factor in their pizza? Do they want you to think you're eating healthy? What do you think?

Will I EVER buy another one of these small frozen DiGiorno pizzas? What do you think?

UPDATE: I microwaved the pizza. Then I ate it. How was it? The cheese was fairly tasteless. Bland. The crust and dough tasted like the box it came in. Was it edible? Yes. Did I eat the whole thing anyway? Yes. Was it good? No. Was it as good as delivery pizza? Not even close. Do I know good pizza? Yes, I used to live in New York City.

DiGiorno pizza is owned by Nestle.

I won the lottery!

For my birthday I played the California lottery. And won!

I played Mega Millions. The jackpot was $20 million. For my birthday I bought 5 "quick picks", for a total of $5, and one of them was a winner!

I won!

How much did I win? I won $1. I got the Mega number. ONLY the Mega number. I won $1.

So, for my birthday I won the lottery. I won $1. I spent $5 on tickets. Oh, wait a minute, that means I lost $4! Birthdays suck.

gluten-free heart attack

which may be soon

According to National Health Services, UK

"Gluten-free diet can do more harm than good for people without coeliac disease," The Independent reports, as a new study found that the "trendy gluten-free diets loved by Gwyneth Paltrow and Russell Crowe may increase the risk of heart disease".

Recently there has been increasing interest in the possible health benefits of avoiding gluten among people who do not have coeliac disease, though the long term evidence about its effects in this group is currently limited. Despite this, the gluten-free food market is reported to have made $3.5bn worth of global sales in 2016.

The current study followed more than 100,000 people from 1986 to 2012, assessing their diets and whether they had heart attacks during that time. These people did not have heart disease at the start of the study, and importantly did not have coeliac disease.

Overall, it found that once other risk factors were taken into account, people's consumption of gluten was not related to their risk of heart attack.

However, further analyses suggested that lower consumption of gluten specifically from whole grains (wheat, barley and rye) was associated with increased heart attack risk compared to higher consumption from these sources.

OMG. So trendy non-celiac gluten-free people can look forward to the illusion of eating "healthy" gluten-free foods, and having a heart attack as a result? Eat gluten-free and die? Be diet-trendy and die? And that makes sense how?

human electronic device

the future?

I am just waiting for human cell phone implants. Yes, science fiction often becomes science fact. Like Dick Tracy's radio wristwatch of the 1940's, we now have the cell phone. Soon, people will have electronic devices implanted in their bodies. And in their brains. You want to be connected? You will be, 24/7. Human electronic devices. I predict that someday all babies/young children will be implanted with electronics. Someday, everything in life will be "electronic". Everything in a person's life will be controlled via their electronic implants. Driving a vehicle is already becoming undesirable and "old school". As a result of the ever present electronic device, thinking will be a thing of the past, TV sets will become obsolete (oh, wait, they already are), schooling will be unnecessary, as all knowledge will be available in the blink of an eye (literally). Verbal communication will disappear and human vocal chords will become extinct. Human face-to-face interaction and socialization will cease to exist. Friends and mates will be replaced by lifelike robots who will cater to our every whim (hmm, now THAT sounds like a good idea!)

Welcome to the future. The future is now. The future will not be for humans, it will be for machines. It will be for electronic devices, implants and robots. It's a good thing I probably won't live to see it.

The problem everyone wants to have

I need to gain weight. I need to gain 3-5 pounds. That's a problem lots of people would love to have.

Here's what happened

I felt a little underweight so I weighed myself. I was right. I was 3-4 pounds under my usual normal and happily chosen weight. Hmm. So I ate some junk food for a couple of days. I didn't eat enough of it because I didn't really gain the 3-4 pounds I wanted to gain. I resumed my normal "healthy" food regimen. Two weeks later I weighed myself agin. I had lost another 2 pounds! What was happening? Was I sick? Was I dying? I had been eating healthy food almost every day. Why was I losing weight? I did not want to lose weight. I was starting to look too thin. Too thin? There's no such thing! As they say, "You can't be too rich or too thin." Yes, you can be too thin. You might be sick. Or dying.

Because I was eating a bit lightly and very healthily, I thought maybe I wasn't eating enough calories. I wrote down everything I usually eat on any given day. Then, I looked up the caloric content of each food. It turned out that I was eating 1,515 calories per day. I looked that up to see what it meant. What it said was that, at 1,515 calories a day, and light exercise, I would lose one pound a week. That's exactly what happened! I then looked how many calories a person of my gender, height, weight and age should be eating. I looked it up using the same SuperTracker calculator that the U.S. federal government's Department of Agriculture used. It said I should be eating 2,324 calories a day. 800 more calories! I should be eating 50% MORE calories per day! I was shocked! I thought my nutrition was proper. I thought I was eating "healthy". Turns out that eating healthy and lightly made me lose weight I didn't want to lose.

What to do? I now had a problem that everyone would like to have: I wanted to GAIN weight.

How to gain some pounds? Hmm. I did not want to eat a lot of junk food everyday. Or high fat foods. Or high sugar foods. I would gain weight but I might also shortly get clogged arteries and diabetes. Should I eat some junk food? Hell, yes. Tomorrow, I am going to have a double cheeseburger for dinner. And fries. The day after that I am going to have a ton of Chinese food. And, a day or two after that, I am going to have a foot long meatball sandwich, with Swiss cheese. But then I will stop eating like that consistently, to avoid clogged arteries, diabetes, obesity, and death. So far, I have gained 2 pounds. That's good but what to add to my diet on an ongoing basis that is reasonably healthy yet contains many calories? Here's what I found. I can't chew nuts et al (I have dentures). Peanut butter has saturated fat and not enough calories. Upon doing a lot of research, I decided on chocolate. Dark chocolate. Dark chocolate has lots of calories, is good for your heart and is VERY tasty. Yummy! And I'm also going to add a banana or two per day to my morning cereal. And, despite raising my cholesterol and sugar levels, maybe I'll add "bad" food 1-2 times a week. "Bad" food like meatball sandwiches, pizza, and, yes, more cheeseburgers. And fries.

And, hopefully, I will gain a few more pounds. And, hopefully, that will solve the problem, the problem that everyone would like to have.

porn spam for me

For the past few months I have been getting a lot of sex dating spam. Before that I wasn't getting much of it. Now, I am. I've been getting up to 50 porn dating spams a day. Today, I got 60. No, I didn't open any or look at any of the email porn pics. I do not click on any links and delete all my spams ASAP -- as they might contain viruses!

I don't know why I am getting porn/sex dating spam. I did not sign up for any porn sites or adult dating sites lately. And I certainly don't want to visit any of the porn or adult hookup sites offered in my porn spam.

The porn spam I get is both the same and different, depending on the subject line. Today I got porn and adult dating spam offering Lonely Wife Hookup, Latin Women Date Team, Naked Women Selfies, Hookup Cougars, Lonely Russian Girls, Online Viagra, and a Sex Dating Club. And, according to one subject line, I have a letter waiting from a Horny Beauty! Another subject line was: "Stay naughty with a frisky beauty".

Do I want any of this stuff? No. Do I open any of this stuff? No.

A message to spammers: "Don't bother to send me spam (especially porn/sex dating spam). Don't waste your time and money. I'm not signing up for anything you send me. I don't even bother to open your spam emails, I just immediately delete them."

I guess the spammers weren't listening. Today, several weeks later, I got 95 porn spams.

Toilet roll - over or under - solved

Should the roll of toilet paper on the holder be under or over? Let's put the age-old debate to rest once and for all.

It goes o-v-e-r.

Why should the toilet paper unroll outwardly, over the holder? Because guys pee standing up. When a male is peeing standing up he may need to blow his nose, or wipe his penis and, if the toilet roll unwinds under, males can't reach it. If it unrolls over, males can reach it and use it - while standing up.

As women pee sitting down, they can easily tear off the toilet paper from either under or over, it makes little difference. To us guys, it makes a BIG difference. If we have to reach the roll and it's under, we may have to bend down to reach it, and could pee on ourselves, our clothes, or drip on a surface area not in the bowl.

So, ladies, until all males start peeing sitting down, PLEASE, if you use a roller, put the toilet paper on the roller so it unrolls outwards ... i.e. OVER. Unless, of course, if no man ever uses your bathroom, then it doesn't matter.

And, no, the "over" toilet roll solution is not an assertion of male dominance. It's an assertion of convenience, common sense, and cleanliness.

why is my internet so slow?

My wireless AT&T DSL internet speed is slow. It's always been slow. I never get more than 5 mbps. It's been that way for over a decade. And they don't EVER upgrade in my area! I don't know why. They don't know why. Maybe they don't give a damn?

Why don't I switch to another, faster internet provider? I can't. The only other internet provider for my address (an upscale zip code in Los Angeles) is Spectrum. Spectrum offers speeds up to 100 mbps for my residence but, due to an unusual billing circumstance, I am not able to get it. So, I am stuck with 4-5 mbps slow internet. I am forced to limp along with slow internet speed at home. Or move. I have lived at this residence for decades and do not want to move. Unless I win the lottery. As I use my computer for many hours each day the slow speed sucks. And I am stuck with it. Thank you, AT&T, you suck.

Fear of zombies

"The Chapman University Survey of American Fears Wave 3 (2016) provides an unprecedented look into the fears of average Americans". In April of 2016, they took a random sample of 1,511 adults from across the United States. The survey reported on people being "afraid" or "very afraid".

Here are some of the fears they discovered (No, I did not make any of these things up):

25.9% had a fear of public speaking.

7.8% had a fear of clowns.

10.2% had a fear of zombies.

Zombies? Over 10% of adults have a fear of zombies? OK, I can understand having a fear of public speaking. And clowns. But zombies? Hey, morons, zombies don't exist, zombies are not real, there are no zombies! Zombies don't exist in real life, only on TV and in horror movies. If you see a zombie, it's just good makeup and wardrobe, not a real zombie. Not real. Zombies are not real. Now, on the other hand, that monster hiding under your bed ...

watermelon erection

August 3rd is National Watermelon Day

From Consumer Reports

"What better way to celebrate National Watermelon Day than with a cool, refreshing slice; but with something so sweet and satisfying, we wondered: Is watermelon good for you?

Turns out, this inexpensive, delicious, and versatile fruit really does live up to its name. “As with all fruits and vegetables, watermelon is very nutritious, and it’s quite delicious” says Lisa Sasson, M.S., R.D., clinical associate professor of nutrition at New York University. “As its name implies, it’s mostly water [92 percent] and is a great way to hydrate yourself in the warmer weather.” She suggests that you can even use it as a post-workout snack to replenish fluids lost during exercise.

Plus, it supplies a bounty of vitamins and minerals such as B vitamins, potassium, vitamin A, and vitamin C—all for the very low cost of just 46 calories per cup.

But the nutrient watermelon is most known for is not a vitamin or a mineral, Sasson says, but a phytonutrient called lycopene—a powerful antioxidant that gives the fruit’s flesh its characteristic pink hue. “Like all phytonutrients, lycopene appears to protect against some cancers, such as prostate cancer and breast cancer,” says Sasson. “It may also help protect against heart disease.”
Lately, I have been eating watermelon on a daily basis. I started eating watermelon before I came across the article.

Why did I start eating watermelon? What they don't say in the above article is that watermelon is reportedly very helpful for erectile dysfunction. Really? Yes, I can attest to that. I'm no longer a teenager (or in my 20's, or my 30's or my 40's) and after eating some watermelon I soon no longer have a dead dick. An hour or two after eating watermelon I walk around with a pleasant tingling feeling down there, and my organ comes back from the dead. Imagine that, I now have a zombie dick!

Plus, watermelon is a lot cheaper than erectile dysfunction drugs. And watermelon is not a pharmaceutical, a pharmaceutical with side effects. The only side effect I experience with watermelon is having to pee, because watermelon is mostly water.

Guys, if you're older and have erection problems, you might want to try eating watermelon. A couple of small slices/pieces does it for me. Try it. You'll be glad you did.

Ladies, if your guy is 40 or older, buy some watermelon and get him to eat it. You'll be glad you did.

Facebook fiasco

Suddenly I could not log in to facebook. When I tried to log in, the facebook sign-in page said my account has been locked. For "security" reasons. Because there had been a "change" in my account. Yeah, a few days before, facebook made me change my password. After years, suddenly they want me to change my password? Anyway, I changed my password. After accepting and OK-ing my new password, facebook would not let me sign in using my new password! It gave me a message telling me once again that my account was locked and I had to change my password. What, again? I just fucking changed it!

I tried signing in several times, with the same result. I got the same message - instructing me to change my password. I am NOT going to change my facebook password AGAIN!

Obviously, facebook has some kind of bug. I tried to contact them regarding the problem but facebook has no contact phone number or email address. It is impossible to contact facebook. They do not want to hear from their subscribers, their customers. Ever. I finally found a facebook "Feedback" form and sent them a message about the log-in bug. So far, they haven't fixed it.

And, to make matters worse, I have signed up for, and sign in to, lot of sites on the internet using my facebook account. Now I can't do that either. And I can't even delete my facebook account - because I can't LOG IN!

Based on that, until further notice, I will no longer be using facebook. Because I can't. Nice going, facebook.

Blue Shield Sucks

I have Blue Shield of California health insurance. I have never had any problems with them. Until now.

Last month they sent me a notice saying that they would be updating their automatic premium payment plan, "Easy Pay", and I would have to re-register my payment info the next month. OK, I can do that - even though it's a minor annoyance and they should have been able to automatically transfer my payment plan and payment info (it hasn't changed).

On April 3, 2017 I went online to the the Blue Shield of California website to re-register my payment info. I went to the website - and access was denied. What? Yes, I had the correct url but the site would not let me gain access. Online access was "denied". WTF? I tried several times with the same result. Access denied? Why? I have no idea. I have had this insurance for years and have always paid on time and my info was up to date.

I then phoned customer support. The automated voice said "If you are calling about updating Easy Pay Press 9". I pressed 9. The support person who answered informed me that I had the wrong department. WTF? The support person then transferred me to the correct department. I was put on hold. So far I have been on hold for 20 minutes. WTF?

So I can't access their website. And I can't speak to someone at Blue Shield because no one picks up the fucking phone. If I can't access their website or speak to a representative I can't re-register my payment info - and can't pay my monthly premium. If I can't pay my monthly premium they will drop my insurance coverage ... and, without health insurance I will die! WTF?

stupid side effects


My doctor put me on a cholesterol lowering drug. It's a statin. I started taking it on a Tuesday evening. Wednesday morning I got an upset stomach, diarrhea and dizziness. I could not leave the house and had to cancel a scheduled important necessary appointment with another doctor, my urologist. I took another dose of the drug Wednesday evening. Thursday morning I had the same side effects: upset stomach, diarrhea and dizziness.

UPDATE: I tried FOUR different statins, with the same bad side effects.

Apparently, at my age, I cannot tolerate statins. The older I get, the less tolerant I get?

In response to side effects, doctors often say: "The benefits of the drug outweigh the side effects." To which I say, "What is the benefit of taking the drug and having lower cholesterol if the side effects prevent me from leaving the house and having a life???" WTF.

finger tooth

I have an infected middle finger. How I got it I have no idea. I went to the dermatologist. Hopefully, I will be able to tolerate the antibiotics prescribed by the doctor and my finger will heal quickly.

Worse, I also have to have a tooth extracted. The tooth has 2 large, deep cavities and cannot be saved. My dentist also wants me to take an antibiotic, prior to the extraction.

Antibiotics. Finger. Tooth.

I started taking the antibiotic. Three days later, I was just about to leave for my dental extraction when my stomach attacked me. I got an upset stomach. A very upset stomach. I could not leave the house. I had to cancel my dental procedure. It was probably a reaction/side effect of the antibiotics for my infected finger that caused the severe stomach upset. I had been taking the antibiotic for 3 days and thought I would be able continue to tolerate it with few/no side effects. I was wrong. On the third day my stomach attacked me.

I have always had stomach problems while taking antibiotics. I was hoping this time would be different. It wasn’t. A day later I was still having stomach discomfort.

I called my “finger doctor” and he changed me to another antibiotic. Shortly after I started taking the newly prescribed antibiotic I became a bit dizzy. I looked it up; dizziness is one of the "common" side effects of this drug. Common? Already-sick-people getting dizzy, nauseous, possibly falling down, falling over while sitting - as a result of taking this drug? That’s “common”? Not to me!

I have to take an antibiotic for both my infected finger and before my tooth extraction. But I have an upset stomach side effect or dizziness that may not end as long as I take the antibiotics. And my dentist can't/won't do the tooth extraction if I stop taking an antibiotic before the procedure - but I’m too sick with antibiotic side effects to leave the house ... and may be too dizzy to drive!

I can't stop taking the antibiotic and I can't leave the house and go to the doctor and the dentist if I don't stop the medication. A bad news dilemma.

The good news is, at the moment, my finger and my tooth do not hurt. The other good news is that there is a California lottery tonight and I can win $150 million.

Probiotics are for women only

I had to take antibiotics for a finger infection. Antibiotics also destroys the "good" bacteria in my stomach et al. It messed me up. I started taking probiotics to restore the good bacteria. I went to the supermarket to see what they had. I wanted the liquid not the solid pill-like probiotic or the yogurty stuff. The flavors of the available liquid probiotics were very limited and not what I wanted.

Hmm. Are probiotic drinks marketing mainly to women? Yes, I think so. Why do I think that? Because the flavors of probiotics are mostly "girly" flavors: fruity flavors like peach, mango, pomegranate, lemon cayenne, and an icky tasting strawberry (yes, I tried it, it was icky).

Do real men want to drink fruity flavored probiotics? Not really. Real men would prefer flavors like beer, hamburger, steak, potato chip and yummy stuff like that. I know I would.

high school

Ah, high school. I remember it well. I was a young man, still a boy. Awkward and hormonal.

I did not like most school subjects, they were boring and had nothing to do with being useful in real life. Chemistry? Why did I have to learn and memorize the Periodic Table of Elements? I was not going to become a chemist. Algebra? When is the last time I needed to know, and use, algebra?

Due to disinterest and boredom, I got mostly “C’s” in high school. I did just enough work to get my high school diploma. And to get into a college.

The best thing about going to high school for me was the socialization with other students. And graduation. And girls.

What is the purpose of high school? Training your brain? Learning to use your brain? Preparing you for life? By memorizing a bunch of dates in history or a bunch of stuff you will never use again after high school? If you want to know something, look it up on the internet. You don't even need to use your brain anymore, just use the internet. The internet has replaced thinking and learning. In my day, you had to learn everything the old fashioned way - using your brain - there were no calculators, no cell phones, no internet. Today, you don't need a brain, you just need social media!

In spite of being a mediocre student (and only excelling in the few subjects I liked) as an adult, I turned out OK. Better than OK. School was not the reason I turned out OK. School didn't develop me, I developed myself. With the help of my parents. Maybe it’s more important (or equally important) that a kid learns good values from his parents than gets straight “A’s” in school and/or is an asshole for the rest of his/her life. Yes, if that kid is taught good values at home and also does well in school that's even better, a big plus. However, the ultimate goal of life is not good grades. The ultimate goal of life is happiness.

supermarket germs


Your Supermarket May Be Carrying More Germs Than Your Toilet

It is a fact that most groceries from supermarkets are haunted by germs notwithstanding the fascinating shopping ambiance and pride of brands they provide.

According to Charles Gerba, one of the leading microbiologists at the University of Arizona there are many avenues through which microbes are piggybacking on produce without the buyer knowing it.

The germ exposure is highest in meat containers where they breed fast.

Gerba lists out the top germy things in supermarkets which people usually encounter.

Shopping Cart Handle
It may be recalled that bulk of the germs is transmitted through hands during the purchase of grocery at the shopping cart handles, where too much of bacteria load up from the touch of different people. Wiping the handle is most important, notes Gerba. He advises using sanitizing wipes at the store's entry or carrying own wipes to stay secure.

Produce Aisle
Fresh produce section often doubles up as a hub of germs as an easy point of entry for germs into handles. "I don't know anyone who buys produce without squeezing or touching it," said Gerba. The expert also cautions against buying produce that is cut or torn as they are easy passages of germs. Gerba recommends buying perfect produce that is not split or opened in any manner.

Meat And Seafood
For the discerning buyer buying meat, poultry, or seafood must be after satisfying that packaging is fault free. If packaging is torn, it is good to forego the item as outlets invite germs. Gerba suggests a double-bagging for meat and seafood before loading it onto the cart and keeping them separate from other produce to avoid cross-contamination.

Canned Food Products
A study by public health safety group NSF International has suggested mandatory damage-checking on the part of shoppers who are buying boxed and canned goods. It also gives the tip that no swollen or leaking cans must be bought as the likelihood of bacteria contamination will be high, including Clostridium botulinum that causes botulism.

Fresh Produce At Checkout Belts
There must be special alert regarding putting fresh produce on the checkout belt of supermarkets as the belts offer a field day for germs. This is because poultry, fresh fish, ground meat, and tuna are carrying nutrients that feed the germs on the grocery belt which later extend to the fresh produce.

OMG. Germy supermarkets. Ugh. I wonder if that also applies for "health food" markets?

Harmful nasty germs are everywhere and on everything. It's a wonder we're not all ill. Or germophobes.

After reading the above I'm never going food shopping again. Oh, wait a minute, if I don't go to the supermarket I'll starve. Hmm. Deadly germs or starvation. What a choice!

Why I am not fat

Why am I not fat? Many people, of all ages, seem to be overweight. Not me. Why am I not fat?

There is one word which answers the question. Vanity. I am vain. That means that when I look in the mirror, when I look at my body, I wanna like what I see. I want to see a not-fat person. I care what I look like. Is that being vain? Yes. Like I said, I'm vain.

OK, so how do I stay thin? I eat the occasional burger and fries, pizza, some ice cream. So why am I not 30, 40, 50 pounds overweight? Here's why ...

Years ago, I made a deal with myself. If I gain 5 pounds (and I do) my jeans get tight. If I continue to gain weight my jeans won't fit at all and I'll have to buy a larger size. That's my deal. I will NOT buy a larger size pair of pants. No matter what. And I do not, will not, wear stretch fabric pants. That means if I continue to eat and add pounds my jeans will get so tight they will HURT! Then, I have a choice. I can either live in pain and not be able to move - forever - OR I can lose 5 pounds. Because I will NOT buy a larger size pair of pants. Hmm. What do I do? I stop doing whatever was adding pounds and lose the weight. 5 pounds is easy to lose. 20 or 30 pounds is not so easy to lose. If I kept eating, not only would my jeans not fit and cause me great discomfort, it would become increasingly harder to lose the added weight.

I also realized that it is easy to gain weight. It's not difficult to be overweight. Or obese. It sneaks up on you. And it takes years to become obese. Let's say, from a non-fat weight, I gained a mere 1 pound a week. Every week. That would be a weight gain of 50 pounds in a year. Three years later I would be 150 pounds overweight. If I kept going, at 1 pound a week weight gain, in 5 years I would be 250 pounds overweight! OMG. It's hard to lose that much weight! And it would take years. That's why I stop at 5 pounds. a 5-pound weight loss is very manageable.

How do I know I gained 5 pounds? I strip down to my underwear and look in the mirror. I see belly fat. I see love handles. Then I weigh myself. Yep, I gained about 5 pounds. And my jeans are getting noticeably tight. Time to lose a few pounds.

Besides the obvious health benefits, not being overly heavy makes me feel - and look - better. And I do want to feel and look better. Because I am vain.

So, due to my "deal with myself", my weight varies by only a few pounds. In fact, right now, as a result of eating "too" healthy and too little, I am a few pounds under my normal weight. I am going to put on a few pounds! Now that's a problem you WANT to have!

Vanity. That's why I am not fat. Vanity is my friend. Vanity keeps me healthier and looking good. Be vain.

Black F-ing Screen Of Death

So, on Sunday Feb 19, 2017 I am on my laptop when the screen suddenly goes black. No warning, no sound, no nothing. I freaked out. My log in screen came back after 15 seconds and I logged onto my laptop again. 30 minutes later the same thing happened. It's called the black screen of death.

I phoned Microsoft technical support and spent 2 hours having them check my Windows 10 software. They found an outdated graphics driver and updated it. They said that was probably what was causing my black screen of death. Whew. Problem solved. NOT. Two days later it started happening again. The dreaded black screen of death. Right in the middle of me editing my latest book. I really freaked out. I feared that my entire book was lost, gone! Luckily, my book was still there in Microsoft Word. Whew. I phoned Microsoft again and spent an hour with them trying to find and fix the problem. They gave up and then suggested that I pay them for more technical support. I said, "Pay you? You can't fix the problem, why should I pay for some other Microsoft tech to not fix it. I have NO confidence that Microsoft can find and fix my black screen of death!". They suggested I call the laptop manufacturer. OK, sure, I'll try that. I cannot rely on my laptop anymore, it suddenly dies in the middle of whatever I'm doing. I called Lenovo, the manufacturer of my laptop. They told me my 2-year-old $1,000 laptop was out warranty. And suggested I pay like $150 to get a 1-year warranty and let them try to find and fix the black screen of death. I passed.

In the end, the software maker blamed it on the hardware. The hardware maker blamed it on the software. Neither one fixed my fucking computer.

Needless to say, I was VERY upset. My Windows 10 $1,000 laptop was no longer functioning properly. No one knew how to fix it. After only 2 years I have to buy a new computer? And I no longer trusted Windows 10, maybe it was the cause of my black screen of death, maybe not. So, I did not want to buy a laptop with a Windows operating system. I resigned myself to buying a fucking Apple laptop. For nearly $2,000. I did not want to buy a $2,000 Apple laptop - I refused to pay that much to browse online, read and write emails, and write my blog and books. I also did not want to have to learn a new operating system. And, no, I didn't want to try writing a blog or book on a cell phone!

I was screwed. I thought about giving up ALL electronic devices and writing my books on a typewriter. No email. No browsing, no online anything. Not a great solution.

Or maybe they'll invent a time machine and I'll go back to a time BEFORE complicated electronic devices ruled our lives. The 1950's were good. So was the 60's and the 70's.

Bright sunshiny day

On a Saturday morning, in late January 2017, I went for a walk and was treated to a beautiful day. It was 11 AM. The sun was shining, the sky was bright blue, there was not a cloud in the sky, and it was 67 degrees. In January. I didn't even need a coat. I walked, basking in the warmth and sun. As I walked I felt good. I needed some sun. And some warmth. 67 degrees and sunny. In late January? This is winter? Hell, yes, in L.A. this is a g-o-o-d winter day. That's why I live here.

As I walked I realized that much of the world was deep in snow and/or freezing cold. And here I was, walking in sunshine and warmth.

As I walked I felt truly appreciative and grateful. Appreciative and grateful for this beautiful day, a bright, warm, sunshiny day. In late January. I am a lucky guy - and I know it. And for tomorrow, the forecast calls for sunny and 75 degrees!

And, yes, I do know winter, real winter, cold and snow winter. I grew up with winter, on the East Coast. In New York. It was no picnic. When I was in my 30's my body was cold from mid-December to Mid-May. Yes, every winter it took me 5 months to warm up! Yes, that's why I moved to Los Angeles.

70 is the new 20

In 2017, thanks to oldsters like billionaire Donald Trump, Senator Bernie Sanders and rock legend Mick Jagger, being 70 years old is like being 20. These people and and others have the energy of a teenager. They outperform youngsters in their teens and 20's, who can't even keep up with these 70-year-olds. Donald Trump became President at age 70 and works 20 hours a day! His staff can't keep up with him. And Mick Jagger, lead singer of the legendary Rolling Stones, is 73 and still performing! And, at 73, he's a new dad!

Yes, you should be impressed. 70-year-old guys with the energy of a teenager. 70 is the new 20. Or maybe the new 18.

I wonder if these 70-year-old guys need viagra. Probably not.

And not to be outdone, comedic actress Betty White is 95 years old - and still working! And still funny. Is 95 the new 40?

Age is just a number.

Care To Comment?

Netflix deprives subscribers

When I find a good TV show on Netflix I binge watch it. Usually an episode every night. I have done this with numerous show and prefer the shows that offer multiple seasons. I enjoy my picks and really get into the show, it's characters, dialogue and action. Unfortunately, all too often the show is suddenly gone. It gets pulled. It "expires". And I haven't finished watching all the episodes. This makes me angry. And it makes me feel deprived. I didn't know the show was being dropped, suddenly it is, suddenly one day it is no longer available, suddenly it has "expired". And I feel cheated. This is no way to treat paying subscribers!

Netflix does a good job informing me via email what new offerings they are featuring. They do a bad job by not informing me what offerings they are taking away!

It appears that Netflix has license agreements regarding the TV shows and films it offers. Depending on the license agreement a Netflix offering "expires" on a given date, sometimes after a relatively short run. Upon further investigation I discovered there are monthly Netflix "schedules" on the internet which reveal what shows and films will be added on Netflix and which will be dumped. For January 2017 there are 30 added offerings and 63 expiring offerings. I do not want to have to go to a non-Netflix website and go through a whole month of these additions and subtractions (nearly 100 titles) in order to avoid being suddenly deprived of my current favorite binge worthy show. Netflix should have that function as part of its website and app. That's right, Netflix, give us an easy "add/expire" or "+/-" drop down menu on the top of the Netflix home page which reveals what is being added and subtracted - for the upcoming week. That way, if a TV show we are following is about to expire, we have the option to watch the rest of the remaining episodes before it's suddenly gone. Or maybe put the expiration date on the title with the offering.

But in any event Netflix, tell me - IN ADVANCE - when you are taking away my shows!

Welcome to Hollyweed


From FoxNews

"The iconic “Hollywood” sign got a New Year’s Day makeover from an unknown vandal who used a black tarp to transform the letters into a message celebrating marijuana. Cops have surveillance video of the suspect, TMZ reported. The vandal, dressed in all black, could face a misdemeanor trespassing charge, said Sgt. Robert Payan. The person scaled a protective fence surrounding the sign and then clambered up each giant letter to drape the coverings, Payan said.

California in November passed a measure legalizing marijuana for recreational use."

And so it is. And so it will be. Hollywood? No, Hollyweed. Maybe they should leave the sign that way seeing as smoking pot for recreation is now legal in California - and Hollywood. Unfortunately, smoking a joint - for any reason - is still stinky.