Stu Pitt Stuff

Welcome to Stu Pitt Stuff

Online since 2009

Stu Pitt Stuff is a fun and funny blog (and often brilliant and occasionally serious). Based in America (in trendy L.A.) Stu Pitt Stuff uses humor, rants and satire to poke fun and fury at stupidity and hypocrisy (and other stuff) wherever it is.

Stu Pitt Stuff - it's everywhere

Not just an American blog, Stu Pitt Stuff also gets visitors from North America, South America, Europe, The Middle East, Asia and Africa.

Read and enjoy.



copyright 2017. All rights reserved.

me, the people


America was founded on the democratic principle of "we, the people". I changed it to


Judgement Day



Try not to dislike someone until you know them personally. Or see them in action. Try not to discriminate based on race, color, religion, gender or sexual preference. If you do, you might be making a big mistake. Just because someone is different, or acts different, doesn't make them unlikeable. The only thing that really matters is: are they an asshole or not.

Liberals tell us not to judge. Ever. They're wrong. It's human nature to judge or pre-judge. It's in our DNA. It's normal. That doesn't make it a good thing. It makes it something to overcome, to better yourself. Not by passing laws but by a desire to be a better person.

I have learned not to judge a book by its cover. Or, if I do, I try to overcome my initial feelings and give a person a chance. Many many times have I been surprised to find a really strange, very different, highly radical looking person (male, female or whatever) to actually be very nice and very interesting. Surprise! Who knew? The only way to find out is to find out. Say something. Say something like "Hello". See what happens. Sometimes you don't get a response, or get a bad response, and sometimes you have a terrific conversation and make a new friend. I have met wonderful people - with tattoos and blue hair, and terrific gentle people that looked like scruffy scary giants. The real person was there, under their strange and different outer shell. I made an effort, I said hello. Then, I found something interesting to comment on. "I like your hat" or "I like your shoes, where are they?" or "I like your hair color, it's different. It's a rainbow". Then I give them a chance to respond.

If you find out they're an asshole, walk away. If they're not, you may grow to like them. Or even love them. You don't know until you find out. Give everyone a chance.

Try it. It's way cool. And you may often be pleasantly surprised.




lottery clotheshorse



As I was awaiting the Mega Millions lottery drawing, where I was planning/hoping to win the $123 million jackpot, a thought occurred to me: what would I do with all that money? The answer? Anything I wanted to do! Then, I realized something. If I won $123 million I would not change my current wardrobe. Not needing to get dressed up or wear a suit, I normally wear jeans and a t-shirt. If I won the lottery and became a multi-millionaire, I would still wear the same clothes, and the same style.

I wear $14 jeans from Walmart, $20 shoes from Walmart, and $7 t-shirts, from a local convenience store, amazon, or a cheap local department store. On my head, I wear a cheap baseball-style hat, which I buy on amazon or at CVS. When the weather is cold, I wear a leather jacket (see my photo upper right), which I also bought at CVS, years ago, for under $30. And I wear a watch, a $22 watch, which I originally bought at Target and, years later, purchased an exact replica replacement on amazon.

I look good in clothes, even cheap clothes, but I am not a clotheshorse. If/when I win a ton of money in the lottery I would not change my look, I would not become a clotheshorse. Even though I would well be able to afford $400 jeans and $400 t-shirts I wouldn't do it, I have no need to be "uber fashionable". And, no, I would not buy a $10,000 Rolex either. At this stage of life, I don't want to dress "fancy", I just want to be comfortable. And $123 million would make me comfortable. Very comfortable.




newmonia


You have pneumonia.

Pneumonia. An infection of the lungs. A nasty disease. Plus, it's really hard to spell.

I have a better idea.

If you get pneumonia for the first time, it's a new ailment. Why don't we call it/spell it "newmonia", new monia.

If you already had newmonia and get it again, why don't we call it oldmonia? Or remonia?




bald guys are hot?



Like many older men, I've been nearly bald for decades. Imagine my surprise to find out that, these days, bald men are considered sexier by women!

Research done by the University of Pennsylvania found that hairless men are leading the way of attractiveness, and appear more confident and dominant to the opposite sex.

And the growing trend for men to debut bald heads or shave off their head is popping up all over Hollywood too. The style has been made popular by the likes of Bruce Willis, Dwayne Johnson, Vin Diesel and Jason Statham, the latter of which is married to Victoria Secret model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley.

However, being bald isn't all good. Researchers found that those who had shaved heads were considered four years older on average.

Sexy, confident, dominant. Versus looking a few years younger? Oh, yeah, I'll take that!




recommended books



22 inspirational self-help books that improve your life and make you smarter, richer and happier. I wrote them.

Click on the books for FREE EXCERPTS!




mouse injures man


Los Angeles, September 2017


I was attacked in my house by a mouse. I was attacked by a Logitech M325 wireless computer mouse.

Here's what happened ...

In May 2017, my M325 wireless Logitech mouse stopped working. Suddenly, it was dead. I figured it was the battery. I turned the mouse over and proceeded to replace the battery.


I went to take off the battery cover and somewhere, around the battery compartment, was a sharp area, a dangerous area. It cut me! Ouch! I got cut. The mouse bit me! (is that a byte?) It hurt. My finger started to bleed. I washed the cut with soap and water and put triple antibiotic ointment on the cut.

Soon, my finger started to noticeably swell up, And it still hurt. I became worried that it was becoming infected.


This was a huge problem if I had an infection as I cannot tolerate taking antibiotics; they upset my stomach horribly. The last time I had to take an antibiotic, I tried 3 different ones. I could not tolerate any of them and my stomach was messed up - for 2 months.

I looked at my injured finger. I became upset. I became upset at the mouse. And Logitech, the company who made it. How dare a company make a mouse that injures you, that cuts you when you try to change the battery!?

Logitech dominates the market. It is difficult to find any other mouse maker than fits the hand so well. And now my Logitech mouse bit the hand that feeds it. I have used a Logitech mouse for decades, replacing them when they wore out. No problems. Now, their mouse, model M325, bit me.

I was not only concerned about my own injury, I was also concerned that other people might be injured in the same way. I decided to contact Logitech and tell them about their product problem and my resulting injury. They emailed back and asked what I would like them to do about it. I responded,

"1. I would like Logitech to fix the design of their mouse; to not have sharp areas in and around the battery compartment.

2. I would also like monetary compensation for my cut finger. I am an author (22 books) and a blogger and the cut finger makes it painful to type and/or use the mouse. My cut finger has not yet healed and may also be infected. I think $500 is reasonable compensation for my pain and suffering."


I am also a fashion photographer (over 10,000 photos) and the injury made it difficult and painful to operate my camera and edit photos.



Logitech responded and said they would call me. They asked for my phone number and the best time to call me. I gave it to them. It took them 12 days to contact me.

Weeks later, feeling ignored and minimized, I emailed them: "... I am retracting my previous settlement terms and desired compensation. If you wish to make a new, more substantial, compensation settlement offer, feel free to do so."

It's now months later, and there has been little progress and no resolution on the matter. I am not happy with Logitech and their lackadaisical/slow response to my injury. And, no, I am no longer using the mouse that bit me; I packed it away and bought a new wireless mouse, a different brand - Insignia - which I bought at Best Buy - for $7.99. The Logitech M325 costs $19.99 (Best Buy). The much less expensive Insignia mouse works fine and, so far, it hasn't bit me.


my new mouse

Subsequently, upon request, I sent the Logitech mouse to Logitech for investigation of the source of my injury. More than a month later, I am still waiting for their result.

As a result of my injury, and all of the above, I may never again buy a Logitech mouse.

Need a new mouse? Going to buy a Logitech? Buyer beware. Proceed at your own risk.



Who is Logitech?
Logitech is a Swiss global provider of personal computer and mobile accessories, with global headquarters in Lausanne, Switzerland and American headquarters in Newark, California (at the edge of Silicon Valley). Their products are distributed in more than 100 countries. Financially, in 2017 (April-March), Logitech had sales of $2.2 billion.



Here's to Logitech


It's a photo of my finger taken August 28, more than 3 months after my injury. The side of my finger still has a swollen cyst. At the moment, I am afraid to go to my dermatologist and have it checked out, as the doctor may want to operate on it, which also may necessitate taking antibiotics that make me ill. One of these or both may once again disable or restrict my writing, photography and online activities.

Overcoming my fears, on August 29, I went to the Emergency Room at the hospital. I had to wait 6 hours before seeing a doctor! After 6 grueling hours of waiting, the ER doctor finally looked at my swollen finger. He said, based on lab tests and his examination, it looked like my swollen finger indeed might be infected. In the ER, they had taken blood tests and my white blood cell count was elevated which, according to both the RN and the doctor, usually indicates an infection.

The ER doctor recommended seeing a hand surgeon, who might need to operate on my finger. And he said the hand surgeon would probably also want to prescribe antibiotics in addition to the surgery. As I mentioned, I can't tolerate antibiotics, I could be sick for weeks/months! The ER doctor also said that the hand surgeon may first want to do a cat scan, to determine if there are slivers/pieces of mouse material in the wound. A surgeon? An operation? How much would THAT cost? And I would likely have to take antibiotics which in the past had made me quite ill. And, due to surgery and antibiotics, for how many weeks (or months?) would I not be able to write or do photography??? By the way, the Emergency Room bill and doctor fee for my visit was over $7,500!

All this thanks to a Logitech mouse. A Logitech mouse that injured me.

UPDATE: 4 months after I was injured by a Logitech mouse, my injury has still not been resolved, or even acknowledged, by this multi-billion dollar publicly-traded consumer technology company.

CONCLUSION
Finally, after 4 long months, Logitech emailed me their conclusion of their investigation and, as I expected, they denied any defect or injury caused by their mouse, and would admit no liability or take any responsibility. This, despite my truthful testimony, the photos of my swollen finger and the Emergency Room doctor's examination and diagnosis.

Yes, I am disappointed, but not at all surprised. It's typical corporate capitalist behavior. It's an all too common story of one powerless consumer, injured, ignored and minimized by a large powerful multi-billion-dollar corporation. In this case, the large powerful multi-billion-dollar corporation is Logitech.


Based on all this, would YOU want to buy a Logitech mouse?

If not, here are some popular major alternatives to the Logitech mouse:

VicTsing
Microsoft
Razer
HP
Adesso
Amazon (yes, amazon makes mouses)




click here to about this post


Stop smoking. I did.


After decades of smoking a pack of cigarettes a day, I quit. I quit in 1 day.

I quit on December 7, 2011. Since then, I have not smoked a cigarette. Not one.

Here's how I did it ...

quit smoking in 1 day




The end of bread



When I buy a loaf of bread I don't eat the end pieces. I don't like the ends, also known as "the heel". I don't like the way they look, the way they feel, or the way they taste. I throw them away. I don't eat the ends, unless I'm desperate and forget to buy a new loaf.

I make, and eat, a sandwich on whole wheat bread every day for lunch. I enjoy my sandwich. I would not enjoy it as much if it was made with an end piece(s).

I assume that many other people don't like the end pieces of a loaf of bread. Some may like them. Some may not care one way or another.

I prefer whole wheat bread over other kinds of bread. Some people prefer white bread. Is that "white privilege"? If I preferred white bread, would I be a racist?

P.S. I cannot find out the reason why a loaf of bread has the crusty end pieces (heels). Even google did not have an explanation. Maybe I should ask a baker. Or maybe it's another one of life's big unexplained mysteries.




Why we need a third arm



We humans don't have enough arms and hands. Two is not enough. Once upon a time, 2 arms and 2 hands were enough, enough to throw a rock or a spear or for fishing and farming, and to do everything else humans wanted, and had, to do. No longer.

Since the Electronic Age, and the invention of the cell phone, we need another arm, another hand. For texting, typing, driving while texting, drinking while texting, changing the channel on the remote control while texting. Shaving while texting. Texting in the rain while holding an umbrella.

We could use another arm, another hand, for nearly ALL the activities we do today. And, yes, with a third arm and hand you could ... TEXT WHILE TEXTING! Yes, you'll also need a second cell phone for that.

C'mon, God, give us another arm, another hand. C'mon, science, let us add another arm, another hand. C'mon, genes, give future generations another arm, another hand. Another arm, another hand. We humans need three. That's evolution, baby!




Netflix is un-american



I am a Netflix subscriber. I am an American Netflix subscriber, like millions of other Netflix subscribers. I live in America. I want to see AMERICAN films and TV shows when I watch (and pay for) Netflix. No offense to foreign films or foreign TV, but I do not want to be offered tons of movies and TV shows in another language or subtitled or made in another country, with foreign actors I have never heard of, with hard-to-understand accents. Maybe it's cheaper for Netflix to acquire the rights to foreign movies and TV shows. I don't know and I don't care.

Netflix has 93 million subscribers worldwide, spread out over 190 countries. Netflix has over 50 million of those subscribers in 1 country - the U.S.

The U.S. is the capital of the world for entertainment - and Netflix should give U.S. subscribers more AMERICAN stuff to watch! Why, more and more, am I seeing lots of foreign movies and foreign TV shows being offered on Netflix, mixed in with the American fare? I am NOT interested in watching foreign entertainment. On Netflix, I want to watch Made in America entertainment!

Is Netflix being un-American? As far as I'm concerned, yes. Netflix should break down its listed film and TV offerings into 2 categories: English and non-English. Or at least provide us subscribers a setting to choose one or both.



UPDATE
Did Netflix listen? No. On Monday, Oct 9, I found a Netflix new offering that I really wanted to see. Jackie Chan in "Kung Fu Yoga", a 2017 film.

I proceeded to watch it. The film was in MANDARIN. I stopped it and tried the option for English. The option for English did not work and reverted to Mandarin. As I do not speak f-ing Mandarin (and hate f-ing subtitles) I could not watch the movie.

What the hell is Netflix thinking??? If Netflix is going to foist foreign language offerings on us paying Americans, at least they should put a sticker on it saying so! Or NOT mix it in with English speaking fare. I was VERY unhappy, I wanted to watch this Jackie Chan film - in English!




wasted



Here are some observations about life as a male, from an old guy -- me. I am no longer young, I'm old, and I sorely miss the strength, endurance and "immortality" of my youth.

A famous playwright, George Bernard Shaw, said that "youth is wasted on the young". He was right.

Here are some other things that are wasted on young males:

Hair is wasted on the young
That's what toupees are for. Or baldness. Or hats.

Teeth are wasted on the young
That's what dentures are for.

Erections are wasted on the young
That's what viagra is for.







I need to drink more



Suddenly, I am getting dry mouth. Really dry mouth. Often, my dry mouth is mild during the day but strong enough to wake me up in the middle of the night. After several weeks of suffering, and sucking on sugar-free mint candies, I decided to do some research on the causes and remedies of dry mouth. Here is what I found

The only cause that seemed to fit was dehydration. Dehydration? Not enough liquids? Yes. I had been drinking about 44 ounces of liquid a day. The old saying is: have 8 8-ounce glasses a day. That's 64 ounces. OK, so I'm a little below that threshold. But wait a minute ...

Then, in my research, I find a new "official" recommendation for daily hydration for adult males. 3.7 liters per day. That's 125 ounces! 125 ounces??? Are you kidding me? If I drank 125 ounces daily I would be peeing 50 times day!

Could I suddenly be dehydrated, which is causing my dry mouth? How could that be, I have been at or under the 64 ounces level for decades. So, if I believe or accept the "new" liquid intake level, I am more than 80 ounces under the new daily standard! According to the new standard, my daily liquid intake is WAY low. But there is no way I could drink over 100 ounces of liquid a day.

So, what will I do? I will increase my daily liquid intake another 17 ounces, bringing my daily total to 61. And we'll see if that solves my dry mouth problem. If it doesn't solve my dry mouth problem, I will spend the rest of my life sucking on sugar-free candies.




Transgender fish



From TechTimes

"Chemicals found in contraceptives and household products that are flushed down the drains are giving rise to transgender fish in rivers. Researchers said that male river fish now turn into females because of chemicals that pollute the water.

Male Roach Fish Turn Into Females
Charles Tyler, of the University of Exeter in Britain, and colleagues said that the males of the roach fish now display more feminine traits.

Some male river fish were found to have reduced sperm quality, and show less aggressive and competitive behavior which can reduce their odds of breeding successfully. Some fish were even found to be producing eggs, which makes them less able to reproduce.

The researchers found that 20 percent of the freshwater fish at 50 different sites show higher feminine characteristics, and they attribute this to ingredients present in birth control pills and by-products of plastic, cleaning agents and cosmetics."



Really? Transgender FISH? Is this for real, or fake news perpetrated by liberal LGBTQ sympathizers?

Transgender fish, caused by man-made chemicals in the water. Kind of reminds me of global warming, also mainly blamed on man-made chemicals. And breathing. By the way, we can no longer use the term "man-made" as it's not politically correct, and excludes women (and other genders). Maybe "human-made"? But that excludes other animals.

In any event, now we have transgender fish. What about political correctness for transgender fish? Do we have to give transgender river fish their own separate river? Or force them to swim with the male and female fishes? Or let them swim wherever they want?

Transgender fish. Hmm, I will have to watch my pet goldfish more closely. One of them seems to be acting a little girly.




I am not a gamer

I don't play video games. Or ignore reality and lose myself in an iPhone. I am a dinosaur. I live in the real world not online. Maybe here's the reason. The following is a direct quote from a Forbes.com reporter regarding, I think, gaming:

"Blizzard is killing me these days, releasing a new Hearthstone expansion last week and now a new Overwatch holiday this week. But I will do my duty and shell out on day one (hour one) for 100 new loot boxes so you can see what you might get, and how often you might get it.

This is Overwatch’s first holiday event that is not tied to an actual holiday. Previously, Blizzard said that they would not be doing St. Patrick’s Day/Easter events, and instead, this “Overwatch: Uprising” event is an entirely original creation, one that flashes back to glory days of Overwatch when the team was still together and hadn’t been cast to the wind like we’ve seen in present day, before Winston recalled them."




I did not understand one word of that. I assume it's "gamer language". If so, I'm too old to learn a new language. And not interested. For games, I'll stick with poker. Or backgammon. And, if I want to lose touch with reality, I'll wait for Alzheimer's. Or become a liberal.




Microsoft virus phone scam



I get a lot of scam phone calls from non-English-speaking scammers claiming to be from Microsoft, telling me that I have downloaded stuff from the internet and that, as a result, I have an infected computer. And, of course, he volunteers to fix my infected computer, for a fee. This is a scam. A stupid scam. My computer has no infection or virus, I have expensive tools and apps that prevent that. I am also too smart to be scammed by a fake random unexpected Microsoft phone caller. How do I handle the fake phone call from Microsoft? Do I immediately hang up? No. Here's how I handle it: I act like a crazed collector.

Me: "I have an infected computer? That's great! I LOVE computer viruses and infections. I COLLECT computer viruses! Do you have any that you can sell me? I'll pay you to send me some new viruses."

When he hears that, the scammer is usually speechless. And then, after a few seconds, the phone scammer usually hangs up, very confused. And maybe scared, because he just called a crazy person, a crazy person who collects computer viruses! Yes, I scam the scammer. I have fun doing it. I laugh. The scammer doesn't.

That's what happens when a "Microsoft scammer" calls me. I confuse and scam THEM. They deserve it.




pizza birds



As I was walking around outside, I noticed a bird, a small sparrow, picking at a large piece of pizza crust on the ground. The bird was enjoying the meal. He seemed to be enjoying the taste of the pizza crust. He was actively picking at it. As I walked near, the bird flew away, even though I told him to stay and enjoy his pizza crust meal. A few minutes later I returned again and the bird was back, snacking away on the pizza crust on the ground. Once again, as I neared, the bird flew away. I was sad. Sad that I, a human, had interrupted the bird's feeding. I hoped the bird would return, and finish his meal.

That pizza crust - that litter - could have fed a lot of non-humans that live near my residence, non-humans such as birds, squirrels, coyotes, raccoons, skunks, bees, butterflies, snakes, deer, and maybe even a mountain lion. No, I don't know which animals like to eat pizza and which do not. I know that sparrow did!

Pizza crust litter on the ground. Human litter. Human litter being recycled, by non-humans. The thought occurred to me that, sometimes, litter might be good for the environment. It might be a good (or bad) addition to the food chain. It depends on the litter. Does that mean that the next time I eat a pizza, I will toss some crust on the ground? No. Maybe.




Los Angeles To Ban Take-Out Food



Let's ban take-out food

From MyNewsLA

Those take-out food containers of polystyrene — often called Styrofoam — would be banned in Los Angeles under a motion introduced Friday by two City Council members.

In addition to take-out containers, the material is used for numerous other manufacturing purposes, including medical devices, red drink cups for beer pong, packing materials and even surfboards.

City Councilman, Paul Koretz, introduced the motion with Councilman Bob Blumenfield. “Because polystyrene doesn’t biodegrade, it can absorb toxins found in the ocean, which poses a danger to marine species that mistake foam for food,” Koretz said. “The fish and wildlife are the barometer of the health of our larger environment. I’m gravely concerned that the food chain will continue to grow ever more toxic if we don’t exchange our bad habits for better ones.”

“Now more than ever, we in Los Angeles and in California must stand up and fight to protect our environment and ensure that future generations enjoy clean mountains and beaches,” Blumenfield said.

“Polystyrene is dangerous, toxic and is an unnecessary product. It is our duty to protect our environment regardless of what is happening in Washington, D.C. With people like Scott Pruitt running the EPA, reversing decades of environmental progress, it is up to us to make sure that California’s beauty is protected.”



Hey, you city council clowns, leave my take-out food alone! If Styrofoam is banned, how will people be able to take away food they buy? For instance, I get take-out Chinese food weekly and it comes in a Styrofoam container. Weekly, I get a big delicious take-out tuna sandwich (and a side of potato salad) at my local deli, and it comes in a Styrofoam container.

If the Los Angeles City Council bans Styrofoam, how will I (and millions of others) take away take-out food? In many cases, there IS no alternative for these Styrofoam containers!!! And the out-of-touch f-ing city council clowns think it's an "unnecessary product"??? Obviously, these clowns don't get take-out.

The stupid crazy L.A. City Council clowns, in their overly-zealous environmental frenzy to ban Styrofoam, are interfering with MY food chain. Leave my take-out food alone!




Wishy washy



From the BBC

How to wash your hands - according to the experts

"Washing your hands properly should take about as long as singing Happy Birthday twice (about 20 seconds)

Wet hands and apply enough soap to cover the whole surface of the hand

Rub palms together with fingers interlaced

Rub each palm over the back of the other hand with interlaced fingers

Rub between fingers on each hand

Rub backs of fingers (interlocked)

Rub around each thumb

Rub both palms with finger tips and then rinse with warm or cold water

Dry your hands well, ideally with a disposable towel

Use a disposable towel to turn off the tap"



After many many years of washing my hands now I find out I was doing it wrong! I always simply wet my hands, soaped them up, rubbed my hands together for a bit, and rinsed them off. Then dried them. I had no idea washing your hands was so complicated and had so many steps. I may have to take a class: "Hand Washing 101". Or read a book: "Hand Washing for Dummies".




White bread is good



Newsflash! White bread is as nutritious as wheat bread.

From Independent.co.uk

Processed white bread is often shunned by health experts due to its low nutritional value. Sales of 'unhealthy' processed white bread have plummeted by 75 per cent since 1974.

"Researchers at Israel’s Weizmann Institute of Science monitored the gut bacteria and levels of fat, cholesterol, glucose and essential minerals such as calcium and iron in 20 healthy people. Half the participants were given a higher-than-average amount of fresh whole-wheat sourdough bread to consume for a week, and the others were given the same portion of processed, packaged white bread.

“The initial finding, and this was very much contrary to our expectation, was that there were no clinically significant differences between the effects of these two types of bread on any of the parameters that we measured,” said the study’s senior author Professor Eran Segal"



For decades we've been told that white bread is not nutritious, is not as good for you as wheat bread or other bread. And now they find out it's not true? That means, for decades, I've been depriving myself of tasty sandwiches - on tasty white bread - for nothing. Depriving myself, thanks to all the stupid health experts, who were wrong - again. Now, excuse me, I'm going to go to the supermarket, buy some bread, and make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich ... on WHITE bread.




one leg at a time



There is an old saying,"He puts his pants on one leg at a time". It means that a person who may be bigger than life, or more privileged, is still a human being just like the rest of us, just like you and me. He puts his pants on one leg at a time. The saying is wrong. I thought about it and realized that the saying "He's just like us, he puts his pants on one leg at a time" may be completely untrue.

Here's why. If you sit down, you can put your pants on TWO legs at a time. How? If you are limber, you can sit down, put your pants on the floor, open the legs straight up, and put both legs into your pants, then stand up, putting your pants on BOTH legs at the same time. Or do it while lying on your back. Or, if you're not limber but are rich (or are in a nursing home) you can have someone assist you; they can hold open your pants on the floor, let you step into them and THEN pull them up, putting your pants on two legs at a time.

So, the age-old saying, "He puts his pants on one leg at a time", making everyone the same or equal, may be incorrect, and not true. "He's NOT like us, he puts his pants on BOTH legs at a time".


As for me, I will continue to be just like you, just like everyone else, and put my pants on one leg at a time.




Bentley SUV



I was driving out of a local upscale supermarket parking area when I saw this car driving in. I knew the car was something unique and special but it was a little too far away for me to see what kind of car it was. As it got closer I saw what it was. Holy Moly, it was a Bentley. A Bentley SUV! A big, beautiful black Bentley SUV. I didn't even know Bentley made an SUV!

As the vehicle approached, I looked to see who was driving. A movie star? A billionaire? It had to be one of those, or both. It was being driven by a 30 or 40-something blond lady. With a young 11 or 12-year-old boy sitting in the passenger seat. She must have picked the kid up from school. Or was taking him to soccer practice. As the vehicle drew nearer, I looked more closely at the driver. I did not recognize her. But she had to be "somebody". Somebody rich. Why do I say that? Because this Bentley SUV has a price starting at $300,000. Yes, I looked it up. $300,000 is the starting price. With all the extras you'd want to have on the vehicle, who knows how much it would cost? It would probably cost more than a big house in many places in America. WOW!

Los Angeles is the car capital of the world. And the TV, movie and music capital of the world. That being the case, it's not uncommon to see Cadillacs, Lincolns, Range Rovers, Rolls Royces, Maseratis and the occasional Ferrari or Lotus. And lots and lots of of SUV's. But I had never before seen a Bentley SUV.

The Bentley SUV. Without a doubt, the most luxurious soccer mom vehicle on the planet!




porn versus real women



"Excessive pornography viewing is likely to contribute to a risk of sexual dysfunction in men, but not women, according to new research. A panel discussion and presentation held on Friday at the 112th Annual Scientific Meeting of the American Urological Association highlights results from surveys conducted on men and women about pornography viewing habits and the long-term effects on sexual health and intimate behavior.

The researchers, led by Dr. Matthew Christman, a staff urologist and program director for pediatric urology at the Naval Medical Center of San Diego, report that while pornography trivially affects women’s sex lives, an excessive habit can be ruinous to men’s psychosexual health. Essentially, many men who are really into internet porn have the potential to become disinterested in sex with a real-life partner. The researchers suggest that the more time men spend on sites such as PornHub, the less able they’ll be to connect with a partner in the bedroom. This can result in severe damage to sexual and romantic relationships and make intimacy challenging, at best.

Roughly 20 percent of men reported using porn three to five times weekly. Nearly 4 percent of men reported they preferred masturbating to pornography over having sexual intercourse with a partner. The researchers also recognized a correlation between men who used pornography frequently and those who reported lack of sexual desire and intercourse satisfaction, as well as erectile dysfunction."



I think they may have it backwards. Many men have erectile dysfunction. They tend to avoid real life sex - because they don't want to fail at it! They don't want to be unable to achieve an erection in the real life presence of the woman they want to have sex with. Non performance is embarrassing, humiliating and depressing for men. So, a lot of men turn to online porn,and masturbation instead. They avoid real life sex. Because, for whatever reason, they don't want to fail at it.

If the guy viewing porn and masturbating fails to become erect or ejaculate, nobody knows and nobody cares except him. Porn presents less performance risk. Less embarrassment. Less humiliation. In other words, men with sexual dysfunction issues may be avoiding real women, and real sex, and turning to porn instead. Maybe it's not the porn causing the intimacy issue, maybe it's the intimacy issues that causes the porn viewing.

Yes, there is Viagra and other ED drugs. Yes, men with ED ought to use them and use them safely. Yes, and if ED drugs aren't already, they should be cheaper. And covered by insurance.




I won the lottery!



For my birthday I played the California lottery. And won!

I played Mega Millions. The jackpot was $20 million. For my birthday I bought 5 "quick picks", for a total of $5, and one of them was a winner!

I won!

How much did I win? I won $1. I got the Mega number. ONLY the Mega number. I won $1.

So, for my birthday I won the lottery. I won $1. I spent $5 on tickets. Oh, wait a minute, that means I lost $4! Birthdays suck.




gluten-free heart attack



which may be soon

According to National Health Services, UK

"Gluten-free diet can do more harm than good for people without coeliac disease," The Independent reports, as a new study found that the "trendy gluten-free diets loved by Gwyneth Paltrow and Russell Crowe may increase the risk of heart disease".

Recently there has been increasing interest in the possible health benefits of avoiding gluten among people who do not have coeliac disease, though the long term evidence about its effects in this group is currently limited. Despite this, the gluten-free food market is reported to have made $3.5bn worth of global sales in 2016.

The current study followed more than 100,000 people from 1986 to 2012, assessing their diets and whether they had heart attacks during that time. These people did not have heart disease at the start of the study, and importantly did not have coeliac disease.

Overall, it found that once other risk factors were taken into account, people's consumption of gluten was not related to their risk of heart attack.

However, further analyses suggested that lower consumption of gluten specifically from whole grains (wheat, barley and rye) was associated with increased heart attack risk compared to higher consumption from these sources.



OMG. So trendy non-celiac gluten-free people can look forward to the illusion of eating "healthy" gluten-free foods, and having a heart attack as a result? Eat gluten-free and die? Be diet-trendy and die? And that makes sense how?




human electronic device



the future?

I am just waiting for human cell phone implants. Yes, science fiction often becomes science fact. Like Dick Tracy's radio wristwatch of the 1940's, we now have the cell phone. Soon, people will have electronic devices implanted in their bodies. And in their brains. You want to be connected? You will be, 24/7. Human electronic devices. I predict that someday all babies/young children will be implanted with electronics. Someday, everything in life will be "electronic". Everything in a person's life will be controlled via their electronic implants. Driving a vehicle is already becoming undesirable and "old school". As a result of the ever present electronic device, thinking will be a thing of the past, TV sets will become obsolete (oh, wait, they already are), schooling will be unnecessary, as all knowledge will be available in the blink of an eye (literally). Verbal communication will disappear and human vocal chords will become extinct. Human face-to-face interaction and socialization will cease to exist. Friends and mates will be replaced by lifelike robots who will cater to our every whim (hmm, now THAT sounds like a good idea!)

Welcome to the future. The future is now. The future will not be for humans, it will be for machines. It will be for electronic devices, implants and robots. It's a good thing I probably won't live to see it.




The problem everyone wants to have



I need to gain weight. I need to gain 3-5 pounds. That's a problem lots of people would love to have.

Here's what happened

I felt a little underweight so I weighed myself. I was right. I was 3-4 pounds under my usual normal and happily chosen weight. Hmm. So I ate some junk food for a couple of days. I didn't eat enough of it because I didn't really gain the 3-4 pounds I wanted to gain. I resumed my normal "healthy" food regimen. Two weeks later I weighed myself agin. I had lost another 2 pounds! What was happening? Was I sick? Was I dying? I had been eating healthy food almost every day. Why was I losing weight? I did not want to lose weight. I was starting to look too thin. Too thin? There's no such thing! As they say, "You can't be too rich or too thin." Yes, you can be too thin. You might be sick. Or dying.

Because I was eating a bit lightly and very healthily, I thought maybe I wasn't eating enough calories. I wrote down everything I usually eat on any given day. Then, I looked up the caloric content of each food. It turned out that I was eating 1,515 calories per day. I looked that up to see what it meant. What it said was that, at 1,515 calories a day, and light exercise, I would lose one pound a week. That's exactly what happened! I then looked how many calories a person of my gender, height, weight and age should be eating. I looked it up using the same SuperTracker calculator that the U.S. federal government's Department of Agriculture used. It said I should be eating 2,324 calories a day. 800 more calories! I should be eating 50% MORE calories per day! I was shocked! I thought my nutrition was proper. I thought I was eating "healthy". Turns out that eating healthy and lightly made me lose weight I didn't want to lose.

What to do? I now had a problem that everyone would like to have: I wanted to GAIN weight.

How to gain some pounds? Hmm. I did not want to eat a lot of junk food everyday. Or high fat foods. Or high sugar foods. I would gain weight but I might also shortly get clogged arteries and diabetes. Should I eat some junk food? Hell, yes. Tomorrow, I am going to have a double cheeseburger for dinner. And fries. The day after that I am going to have a ton of Chinese food. And, a day or two after that, I am going to have a foot long meatball sandwich, with Swiss cheese. But then I will stop eating like that consistently, to avoid clogged arteries, diabetes, obesity, and death. So far, I have gained 2 pounds. That's good but what to add to my diet on an ongoing basis that is reasonably healthy yet contains many calories? Here's what I found. I can't chew nuts et al (I have dentures). Peanut butter has saturated fat and not enough calories. Upon doing a lot of research, I decided on chocolate. Dark chocolate. Dark chocolate has lots of calories, is good for your heart and is VERY tasty. Yummy! And I'm also going to add a banana or two per day to my morning cereal. And, despite raising my cholesterol and sugar levels, maybe I'll add "bad" food 1-2 times a week. "Bad" food like meatball sandwiches, pizza, and, yes, more cheeseburgers. And fries.

And, hopefully, I will gain a few more pounds. And, hopefully, that will solve the problem, the problem that everyone would like to have.




porn spam for me



For the past few months I have been getting a lot of sex dating spam. Before that I wasn't getting much of it. Now, I am. I've been getting up to 50 porn dating spams a day. Today, I got 60. No, I didn't open any or look at any of the email porn pics. I do not click on any links and delete all my spams ASAP -- as they might contain viruses!

I don't know why I am getting porn/sex dating spam. I did not sign up for any porn sites or adult dating sites lately. And I certainly don't want to visit any of the porn or adult hookup sites offered in my porn spam.

The porn spam I get is both the same and different, depending on the subject line. Today I got porn and adult dating spam offering Lonely Wife Hookup, Latin Women Date Team, Naked Women Selfies, Hookup Cougars, Lonely Russian Girls, Online Viagra, and a Sex Dating Club. And, according to one subject line, I have a letter waiting from a Horny Beauty! Another subject line was: "Stay naughty with a frisky beauty".

Do I want any of this stuff? No. Do I open any of this stuff? No.

A message to spammers: "Don't bother to send me spam (especially porn/sex dating spam). Don't waste your time and money. I'm not signing up for anything you send me. I don't even bother to open your spam emails, I just immediately delete them."

UPDATE
I guess the spammers weren't listening. Today, several weeks later, I got 95 porn spams.

UPDATE: It's now July 2017 and lately I've been getting more than 100 spams a day!




Toilet roll - over or under - solved



Should the roll of toilet paper on the holder be under or over? Let's put the age-old debate to rest once and for all.

It goes o-v-e-r.

Why should the toilet paper unroll outwardly, over the holder? Because guys pee standing up. When a male is peeing standing up he may need to blow his nose, or wipe his penis and, if the toilet roll unwinds under, males can't reach it. If it unrolls over, males can reach it and use it - while standing up.

As women pee sitting down, they can easily tear off the toilet paper from either under or over, it makes little difference. To us guys, it makes a BIG difference. If we have to reach the roll and it's under, we may have to bend down to reach it, and could pee on ourselves, our clothes, or drip on a surface area not in the bowl.

So, ladies, until all males start peeing sitting down, PLEASE, if you use a roller, put the toilet paper on the roller so it unrolls outwards ... i.e. OVER. Unless, of course, if no man ever uses your bathroom, then it doesn't matter.

And, no, the "over" toilet roll solution is not an assertion of male dominance. It's an assertion of convenience, common sense, and cleanliness.




why is my internet so slow?



My wireless AT&T DSL internet speed is slow. It's always been slow. I never get more than 5 mbps. It's been that way for over a decade. And they don't EVER upgrade in my area! I don't know why. They don't know why. Maybe they don't give a damn?

Why don't I switch to another, faster internet provider? I can't. The only other internet provider for my address (an upscale zip code in Los Angeles) is Spectrum. Spectrum offers speeds up to 100 mbps for my residence but, due to an unusual billing circumstance, I am not able to get it. So, I am stuck with AT&T's 4-5 mbps slow internet. I am forced to limp along with slow internet speed at home. Or move. I have lived at this residence for decades and do not want to move. Unless I win the lottery. As I use my computer for many hours each day the slow speed sucks. And I am stuck with it. Thank you, AT&T, you suck.

UPDATE
Months later, I found a way to get Spectrum. I had it installed. Now, I get 100+ mbps. Yeah! Zoom! And I canceled AT&T, happily.




Fear of zombies



"The Chapman University Survey of American Fears Wave 3 (2016) provides an unprecedented look into the fears of average Americans". In April of 2016, they took a random sample of 1,511 adults from across the United States. The survey reported on people being "afraid" or "very afraid".

Here are some of the fears they discovered (No, I did not make any of these things up):

25.9% had a fear of public speaking.

7.8% had a fear of clowns.

10.2% had a fear of zombies.



Zombies? Over 10% of adults have a fear of zombies? OK, I can understand having a fear of public speaking. And clowns. But zombies? Hey, morons, zombies don't exist, zombies are not real, there are no zombies! Zombies don't exist in real life, only on TV and in horror movies. If you see a zombie, it's just good makeup and wardrobe, not a real zombie. Not real. Zombies are not real. Now, on the other hand, that monster hiding under your bed ...




watermelon erection



August 3rd is National Watermelon Day

From Consumer Reports

"What better way to celebrate National Watermelon Day than with a cool, refreshing slice; but with something so sweet and satisfying, we wondered: Is watermelon good for you?

Turns out, this inexpensive, delicious, and versatile fruit really does live up to its name. “As with all fruits and vegetables, watermelon is very nutritious, and it’s quite delicious” says Lisa Sasson, M.S., R.D., clinical associate professor of nutrition at New York University. “As its name implies, it’s mostly water [92 percent] and is a great way to hydrate yourself in the warmer weather.” She suggests that you can even use it as a post-workout snack to replenish fluids lost during exercise.

Plus, it supplies a bounty of vitamins and minerals such as B vitamins, potassium, vitamin A, and vitamin C—all for the very low cost of just 46 calories per cup.

But the nutrient watermelon is most known for is not a vitamin or a mineral, Sasson says, but a phytonutrient called lycopene—a powerful antioxidant that gives the fruit’s flesh its characteristic pink hue. “Like all phytonutrients, lycopene appears to protect against some cancers, such as prostate cancer and breast cancer,” says Sasson. “It may also help protect against heart disease.”
Lately, I have been eating watermelon on a daily basis. I started eating watermelon before I came across the article.


Why did I start eating watermelon? What they don't say in the above article is that watermelon is reportedly very helpful for erectile dysfunction. Really? Yes, I can attest to that. I'm no longer a teenager (or in my 20's, or my 30's or my 40's) and after eating some watermelon I soon no longer have a dead dick. An hour or two after eating watermelon I walk around with a pleasant tingling feeling down there, and my organ comes back from the dead. Imagine that, I now have a zombie dick!

Plus, watermelon is a lot cheaper than erectile dysfunction drugs. And watermelon is not a pharmaceutical, a pharmaceutical with side effects. The only side effect I experience with watermelon is having to pee, because watermelon is mostly water.

Guys, if you're older and have erection problems, you might want to try eating watermelon. A couple of small slices/pieces does it for me. Try it. You'll be glad you did.

Ladies, if your guy is 40 or older, buy some watermelon and get him to eat it. You'll be glad you did.




Blue Shield Sucks


I have Blue Shield of California health insurance. I have never had any problems with them. Until now.

Last month they sent me a notice saying that they would be updating their automatic premium payment plan, "Easy Pay", and I would have to re-register my payment info the next month. OK, I can do that - even though it's a minor annoyance and they should have been able to automatically transfer my payment plan and payment info (it hasn't changed).

On April 3, 2017 I went online to the the Blue Shield of California website to re-register my payment info. I went to the website - and access was denied. What? Yes, I had the correct url but the site would not let me gain access. Online access was "denied". WTF? I tried several times with the same result. Access denied? Why? I have no idea. I have had this insurance for years and have always paid on time and my info was up to date.

I then phoned customer support. The automated voice said "If you are calling about updating Easy Pay Press 9". I pressed 9. The support person who answered informed me that I had the wrong department. WTF? The support person then transferred me to the correct department. I was put on hold. So far I have been on hold for 20 minutes. WTF?

So I can't access their website. And I can't speak to someone at Blue Shield because no one picks up the fucking phone. If I can't access their website or speak to a representative I can't re-register my payment info - and can't pay my monthly premium. If I can't pay my monthly premium they will drop my insurance coverage ... and, without health insurance I will die! WTF?



cigarette tax hike is racist



California voters approved a huge tax increase. On April 1, 2017, the cigarette tax rate in California increased from $0.87 to $2.87. That's $2 a pack. That brings the price a pack of brand name cigarettes to $8 or more.

(The tax also affects electronic cigarettes, the BEST fucking alternative to smoking the world has ever seen!!!)




Hey, California voters: raising taxes on smoking is regressive, i.e. it penalizes the poor. It's fucking racist!

According to the IRS.gov website, "A regressive tax may at first appear to be a fair way of taxing citizens because everyone, regardless of income level, pays the same dollar amount. By taking a closer look, it is easy to see that such a tax causes lower-income people to pay a larger share of their income than wealthier people pay. Though true regressive taxes are not used as income taxes, they are used as taxes on tobacco, alcohol, gasoline, jewelry, perfume, and travel."

Yes, raising cigarettes taxes penalizes the poor who smoke. And many of the poor in California are black or Hispanic. For a pack a day smoker, the $2 tax hike will cost them an additional $700 a year. Voters raised taxes on cigarettes by $2 a pack and now only rich people in California will be able to afford to smoke! And most of the rich in California are white people. According to the Huffington Post, "The average net worth of African Americans in California is just 14 percent that of whites, and for Latinos just 15 percent that of whites."

Raising the tax on smoking penalizes low-income/no-income minorities and will increase rich white privilege. The higher the tax, the higher the rich white privilege. Racism.

California voters are racist! Raising the cigarette tax is racist!






finger tooth



I have an infected middle finger. How I got it I have no idea. I went to the dermatologist. Hopefully, I will be able to tolerate the antibiotics prescribed by the doctor and my finger will heal quickly.

Worse, I also have to have a tooth extracted. The tooth has 2 large, deep cavities and cannot be saved. My dentist also wants me to take an antibiotic, prior to the extraction.

Antibiotics. Finger. Tooth.

I started taking the antibiotic. Three days later, I was just about to leave for my dental extraction when my stomach attacked me. I got an upset stomach. A very upset stomach. I could not leave the house. I had to cancel my dental procedure. It was probably a reaction/side effect of the antibiotics for my infected finger that caused the severe stomach upset. I had been taking the antibiotic for 3 days and thought I would be able continue to tolerate it with few/no side effects. I was wrong. On the third day my stomach attacked me.

I have always had stomach problems while taking antibiotics. I was hoping this time would be different. It wasn’t. A day later I was still having stomach discomfort.

I called my “finger doctor” and he changed me to another antibiotic. Shortly after I started taking the newly prescribed antibiotic I became a bit dizzy. I looked it up; dizziness is one of the "common" side effects of this drug. Common? Already-sick-people getting dizzy, nauseous, possibly falling down, falling over while sitting - as a result of taking this drug? That’s “common”? Not to me!

I have to take an antibiotic for both my infected finger and before my tooth extraction. But I have an upset stomach side effect or dizziness that may not end as long as I take the antibiotics. And my dentist can't/won't do the tooth extraction if I stop taking an antibiotic before the procedure - but I’m too sick with antibiotic side effects to leave the house ... and may be too dizzy to drive!

I can't stop taking the antibiotic and I can't leave the house and go to the doctor and the dentist if I don't stop the medication. A bad news dilemma.

The good news is, at the moment, my finger and my tooth do not hurt. The other good news is that there is a California lottery tonight and I can win $150 million.




Probiotics are for women only



I had to take antibiotics for a finger infection. Antibiotics also destroys the "good" bacteria in my stomach et al. It messed me up. I started taking probiotics to restore the good bacteria. I went to the supermarket to see what they had. I wanted the liquid not the solid pill-like probiotic or the yogurty stuff. The flavors of the available liquid probiotics were very limited and not what I wanted.

Hmm. Are probiotic drinks marketing mainly to women? Yes, I think so. Why do I think that? Because the flavors of probiotics are mostly "girly" flavors: fruity flavors like peach, mango, pomegranate, lemon cayenne, and an icky tasting strawberry (yes, I tried it, it was icky).

Do real men want to drink fruity flavored probiotics? Not really. Real men would prefer flavors like beer, hamburger, steak, potato chip and yummy stuff like that. I know I would.




high school



Ah, high school. I remember it well. I was a young man, still a boy. Awkward and hormonal.

I did not like most school subjects, they were boring and had nothing to do with being useful in real life. Chemistry? Why did I have to learn and memorize the Periodic Table of Elements? I was not going to become a chemist. Algebra? When is the last time I needed to know, and use, algebra?

Due to disinterest and boredom, I got mostly “C’s” in high school. I did just enough work to get my high school diploma. And to get into a college.

The best thing about going to high school for me was the socialization with other students. And graduation. And girls.

What is the purpose of high school? Training your brain? Learning to use your brain? Preparing you for life? By memorizing a bunch of dates in history or a bunch of stuff you will never use again after high school? If you want to know something, look it up on the internet. You don't even need to use your brain anymore, just use the internet. The internet has replaced thinking and learning. In my day, you had to learn everything the old fashioned way - using your brain - there were no calculators, no cell phones, no internet. Today, you don't need a brain, you just need social media!

In spite of being a mediocre student (and only excelling in the few subjects I liked) as an adult, I turned out OK. Better than OK. School was not the reason I turned out OK. School didn't develop me, I developed myself. With the help of my parents. Maybe it’s more important (or equally important) that a kid learns good values from his parents than gets straight “A’s” in school and/or is an asshole for the rest of his/her life. Yes, if that kid is taught good values at home and also does well in school that's even better, a big plus. However, the ultimate goal of life is not good grades. The ultimate goal of life is happiness.