Shopping malls are dead. According to the Wall St Journal: "Just when you think you have a handle on the brick-and-mortar retail crisis, the prognosis gets worse. More than 8,600 stores will close their doors in 2017, according to Credit Suisse analysts—a number that exceeds store closures during 2008, when America was in recession. One quarter of all shopping malls are expected to shutter in the next five years, according to the same report.
This downward spiral has severe economic implications, although some are less apocalyptic than they seem at first. In fact, there’s some evidence that automation and e-commerce actually create more—and better-paying—jobs than they destroy.
But there’s one issue that no one has figured out how to solve: what to do with all those vacant stores. "
I have. I have figured out how to solve it. What to do with all those vacant stores and dead shopping malls? Turn them into "marijuana malls". Recreational marijuana is now legal in many states. The rest of the states will no doubt follow. If the dying and dead shopping malls are turned into marijuana malls, people can go there and buy weed and socialize, while getting stoned and feeding their munchies.
Stores in a marijuana mall might also include tattoo parlors, health food stores, a gym, a Virtual Reality arcade and, of course, an iPhone store.
Mall problem solved. Convert the dying and dead malls into marijuana malls: the evolution of brick-and-mortar mall stores. A cardinal rule of business? Give people what they want. And younger people don't want more "stuff", they want more experiences. And more weed.
Once upon a time, I went to college. I was taking an economics course and having a difficult time understanding the stuff. In the economics course, the textbook used many unknown terms and language that I not only did not understand but, and when I looked up the definition of something, I could not understand that either.
I realized that economists were using their own language, a difficult language, so that normal people would not be able to understand the subject matter. Why? To make themselves elite, to make themselves more money. And to make it difficult for me (and everyone else) to learn.
For weeks I was frustrated at not being able to learn economics. And fearful of failing the course. One evening, as I was struggling with my economics homework, I looked up to the heavens and cried, "Why is this stuff so complicated??? Why didn't they explain economic theories by using "apples and oranges" instead of complicated math and language formulas??? Suddenly, a light bulb went off in my head. Apples and oranges? OK, let's see if that works. I applied simple apples and orange examples to economic formulae. It worked. Instead of the economic language used to explain the "Multiplier Effect" I made it into, "If you cut an apple into four parts and those four parts were cut into four more parts, etc. that's the Multiplier Effect." It worked! From that point on, I applied the simple (and stupid) "apples and oranges" concept to economics ... and got an A in the course!
From that point on, when faced with complicated stuff, I try to simplify it -- by applying my "apples and oranges" concept. "apples and oranges" is my own version of the old adage: "keep it simple, stupid". I keep it simple AND stupid. You can too.
When someone calls you a jerk (or an asshole), tell them this:
"I assume you know that the meaning of the term you just used has changed. The term ________ is now used as a term of praise and respect. So, thank you for calling me a ________. And, in return, I just want to say, you're an even bigger _______."
Yes, I made that up. I thought it was funny. But, then again, maybe I'm a jerk.
