big time waster


"Ever feel like you spend more time searching for something to watch on TV than actually watching a program? Turns out, that sentiment isn't far from the truth.

A recent study suggests that the average American will waste 23 minutes every day trying to find something to watch. That's 1.3 years of your lifetime wasted on changing channels or sorting through the TV guide."

There's like 900 cable TV channels and often, even during prime time, there's little or nothing good to watch. We wouldn't have to waste 23 minutes a day searching for something to watch if more TV shows were worth watching! Not to mention suffering through way too many TV commercials.

ice cream causes cancer

Common additives in ice cream, margarine, packaged bread and many processed foods may promote cancer scientists said on Wednesday. The researchers focused on emulsifiers, chemicals added to many food products to improve texture and extend shelf life. In mouse experiments, they found emulsifiers can change the species composition of gut bacteria and induce intestinal inflammation. Emulsifiers are used in margarine, mayonnaise, creamy sauces, candy, ice cream, packaged processed foods and baked goods. They can make products like mayonnaise smooth and creamy.

According to National Institutes of Health (, a U.S. government website, "Overall, they found more and bigger cancerous tumours in mice given the emulsifiers, in addition to some inflammatory changes. It was suggested the reason could be that emulsifiers altered the balance of gut bacteria, creating an environment more favourable to the development of cancer."

The bad news? Practically everything causes cancer, at least in mice. The good news? According to the U.S. government website: "The mice were fed large doses of the substances not comparable to the levels found in food humans would eat. The mice were also given strong drugs both to cause cancer and trigger bowel inflammation. Without these substances, the emulsifiers alone may have had minimal effect."

Aha! Another bogus health scare by scientists, with accompanying scary media headlines. Humans are not mice. That being the case, I am going to continue to eat ice cream. And cake.

Holy Grail of litter

Coke litter, neatly arranged by the a-hole who dumped it

Today, while taking my morning walk, I found the Holy Grail of disgusting litter. What's the Holy Grail of litter (besides a dead body)? A used condom. It was on the ground, in my parking lot. I couldn't believe it! Yeah, it was disgusting. So disgusting that I took a photo and added it in my "litter blog". Yes, I have a litter blog, where I post interesting and unusual litter photos I have taken in my neighborhood and add funny captions to the photos. If you want to see some fun and funny litter photos go to my litter blog. You'll laugh your ass off.

Kim and Kanye at home

From the NY Daily News

"Kim Kardashian reportedly complained on her sister Khloe's talk show that she sunk at least $8 million into the Hidden Hills estate, which she purchased with her husband Kanye West in 2014, TMZ reported.

The main reason the reality TV star is losing so much cash is because her hubby can't make up his mind - often telling contractors to rip things out when he's unhappy with how something looks, sources told the gossip site.

The couple purchased the three-acre, $20 million estate in 2014 and it boasts two pools, two spas and a vineyard. The 15,667-square foot estate also features a gourmet kitchen, eight bedrooms, separate his and hers bathrooms for the master suite, a sprawling gym, an indoor movie theater and eight fireplaces, according to the previous listing on"

After two years of renovation, Kim and Kanye have still not moved into their $28 million investment.

Yes, everybody needs to have a huge house, with a vineyard and two pools. Really? One pool is not enough?

Yes, the rich are different from you and me. They have more money. And live by different standards.

rain delay

It rained in L.A. on Sunday. It was November, before Thanksgiving. According to the LA Times: "Rain triggers 570% surge in Los Angeles County freeway crashes.

According to statistics from the California Highway Patrol, between 9 p.m. Sunday and 1 a.m. Monday there were 201 reported crashes on L.A. County’s freeways — a 570% increase from the same period last week when the CHP counted 30 crashes."

We had an inch of rain in L.A. on Sunday. One inch. During the same weekend my old hometown, in upstate NY, got 18 inches ... of snow.

An inch of rain in Los Angeles caused a 570% increase in freeway crashes. Bad drivers? Not exactly.

After moving to Los Angeles years ago from the East Coast I noticed that drivers in L.A. do not know how to drive in the rain. Instead of slowing down, they speed up - I think to get to their destination faster and get out of the rain quicker. No, I am not kidding. They also do not understand that the road gets slippery when wet and they do not leave extra stopping distance between their vehicle and the vehicle in front of them. Are L.A. drivers rain-stupid? Yes. Probably because they have no experience in driving in inclement weather. We get 330 sunny days a year in L.A. -- and no snow or ice.

Los Angelenos also tend to stay home from work if it's raining, even a little bit. How's THAT for an excuse not to go to work? "OMG, I can't go out, it's RAINING!" What, they'll melt?

And, on Wednesday December 22, we had a little rain again. According to MyNewsLA: "Nearly 200 crashes were reported in Los Angeles County freeways as a result of the rain that fell in the first of two storm systems forecast to strike the Southland , authorities said.

The California Highway Patrol said there were 191 traffic crashes from 5 p.m. Wednesday to midnight. That’s more than three times as many accidents as on a dry day, said CHP Officer Dion Conley ....

Rainfall totals ranging from a tenth of an inch to a half-inch are expected across Los Angeles and Ventura counties"

Yes, L.A. is different. And trendy. And weird. And warm and sunny. I moved here from the East Coast decades ago, and continue to live here, for the warm and sunny weather. On New Year's Day it is usually 70+ degrees and sunny in L.A. And it rarely rains. But, thanks to my teenage years in upstate New York, I do remember how to drive in the rain. And snow. And ice. And, no, I don't miss those cold days (and weeks) of heavy rain, thigh-high snow and icy roads. Ever.

FDA classifies chocolate as vitamin

(Washington) - The FDA today announced that it has reclassified chocolate as a vitamin.

A spokesperson for the Food and Druggie Administration further clarified, "All chocolate, in all forms, has been reclassified as a vitamin. Dark chocolate, light chocolate, white chocolate, milk chocolate, mocha, cocoa, chocolate covered cherries, chocolate cake, fudge brownies, Hershey's kisses, chocolate bars, chocolate chip cookies ... anything with chocolate in it ... is now a vitamin."

Women throughout the U.S. were thrilled with the new classification. One women at the Mall of America, in Minnesota, screamed, "Wow! This is terrific news for me, I'm a choc-o-holic! Excuse me, I gotta go take my vitamins!"

Health care professionals and nutritionists were a bit perplexed by the government's reclassification while a spokesperson for the Binge-On-Chocolate Association, Lotta Pounds, proclaimed, "We're thrilled! Excuse me, I gotta go stuff myself with chocolate ice cream vitamins"

Pharmacies and drug stores across the nation were also thrilled and scrambled to move all chocolate items from the candy section to the vitamin section.

On the downside, now that chocolate is officially a vitamin, consumers should expect to pay substantially higher prices for the product.

Welcome to America.

This is fake news. I wrote this fake news story in 2007. It was published on the satirical news site, The Spoof, and I am reprinting it here, because it's funny, and may even become true.

rich or wealthy


"Financial security isn’t a number or a threshold. It has to do with what you spend, and save, relative to your income.

Nothing proves that quite like research on millionaires by wealth management firm UBS. Sixty percent of those with more than $5 million defined themselves as wealthy, compared with 28% of those worth $1 million to $5 million. Yet what millionaires mean by “wealthy” is not necessarily financial independence: Only 10% defined wealthy as not having to work. It’s not even a number; only 16% said surpassing a certain asset threshold automatically made you rich.

The majority — two-thirds of those polled — said the whole point of building wealth was achieving financial security, where a single setback isn’t likely to plunge them into the ranks of the not-rich."

Imagine that. Rich or wealthy. Hmm, which would you rather be? "No, I'm not rich, I'm wealthy". "No, I'm not wealthy, I'm only rich". I'm not greedy, either one is fine with me! And anyway, thanks to inflation, $5 million is the new $1 million. It's a good thing I play the lottery!

misnamed sex act

The thought occurred to me that the sexual act of giving or getting a blowjob is misnamed. There is no "blowing", either on or into the penis. No blowing. There is sucking, licking, maybe spitting on, maybe biting, kissing, deep throating, rubbing the penis during a blowjob - there is no blowing.

The word blowjob is a misnomer, a mislabel, a mistake.

The word "blowjob" needs to be changed. Like the handjob, which involves using the hand(s), or the footjob, which involves the feet, a blowjob involves the mouth - and should be more descriptively and accurately referred to as a mouthjob.

Think about it, you know I'm right. Think about it, who cares what you call it, as long as you get one.