Stupid Floor

written on August 22, 2020 at 1:30 PM

I just weighed myself, to see if I could have a cheeseburger tonight. If I weigh too much, no cheeseburger. If I weigh at or under my minimum of 150 lbs, cheeseburger.

Putting the scale on the wood floor, with the grain, I weighed 151. That's 1 lb over my minimum and a good weight for me. OK, maybe a cheeseburger. Then, I laid the scale across the grain of the wood floor and stepped on it. My weight was 147. Definitely a cheeseburger. Maybe two.  I then weighed myself again to be sure.  Same thing, with the scale on the floor,151 with the grain, 147 against the grain. I did it both ways, in 3 different spots on the floor; in the bathroom, the living room and the kitchen. Each time the weight was exactly the same. 151 lbs with the grain, 147 against the grain. Obviously, it was the flooring. The stupid wood flooring. What do I weigh, 151 or 147? Cheeseburger or no cheeseburger? Depends on how you place the scale on the stupid floor.

Hmm. Maybe I should just flip a coin. Or split the difference between 151 and 147 and call it Cheeseburger Night!