Stu Pitt Stuff

Welcome to Stu Pitt Stuff

Online since 2009

The Stu Pitt Stuff blog is fun and funny, wildly entertaining (and often brilliant and occasionally serious). Based in America (in trendy L.A.) Stu Pitt Stuff uses humor, truth and satire to shine a light on life's stupidity (and other stuff) wherever it is.

Stu Pitt Stuff - it's everywhere

Not just an American blog, Stu Pitt Stuff also gets visitors from North America, South America, Europe, The Middle East, Asia and Africa.

Read and enjoy.

copyright 2009-2018. All rights reserved.

established google blogger


It can be scary to be a pioneer. To go where you have not gone before. To set foot in a new unknown experience. To embark on a journey, with no GPS, no roadmap, no trail. To put yourself in the mystical magical place of art. To be an artist.

An artist is a pioneer. Overcoming his or her fears or obstacles to visit a new reality, a unique and special place of wonder and enchantment. To draw, to paint, to make music, to sing, to dance, to act. To write. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it.

Be an artist. Be a pioneer. In whatever you do.

Amazon stealth delivery

I bought something on amazon. A new laundry bag. I bought it on a Friday and it was delivered to my residence on Sunday. Quite fast. On Sunday morning, I opened my door to go out and, viola, there it was, a package from amazon sitting on the floor outside my door. Huh. I never heard amazon deliver the package. I was home all night and all morning. The delivery person never knocked on my door. I did not get an email notification that the package had been delivered. It was a secret amazon delivery, a "stealth delivery". The package was delivered and was sitting in the hallway outside my door, waiting for me - or a thief (aka porch pirate).

I live in a large complex in Los Angeles. There are over 1,100 units here. Leaving anything of value on the floor outside a residence - for hours or days - is probably not a good idea. Luckily, I happened to find my amazon package soon after it was delivered to the hallway outside my door. I am not the only one to get amazon stealth deliveries. I have a neighbor who gets a lot of amazon stealth deliveries. Often, on a daily basis, every time I walk past their door I see an amazon package (or several) lying there -- on the floor outside their door. Amazon stealth delivery. Even though the tenants are at home and can be heard inside their unit from the hallway!

I understand why the amazon delivery person dumps packages outside the door and doesn't even bother to knock and wait while the resident (or no one) comes to the door to personally accept the package. Stealth delivery is faster. It's more efficient. The delivery person gets to go home earlier. However, we amazon buyers PAY for shipping, one way or the other, and want to have our amazon packages delivered to our residence as they should be, personally, not delivered in stealth mode.

Dear Amazon,

We appreciate the convenience and fast shipping and good customer service when shopping online at However, you are putting our patience - and our pockets - at risk with your stealth delivery.


Amazon buyers in residences worldwide

You may be a phony

Everyone I see is on their cell phone. Young people and middle aged people, even old people, walking around reading/sending texts. On their cell phone. Walking around with their cell phone in their hand, at the ready, constantly looking down and peering at their phone to see if there is a new message.

Everyone I see is walking around texting. Ignoring the real world. Ignoring other people. Living through their cell phones. Phonies.

Anyone who spends all their time with their cell phone is a "phony". Are YOU a phony?

What are the odds?

I play the odds. The odds are in my favor, in your favor. Here's why

The published odds of winning the jackpot in the major lotteries is 1 in more than 250 million. In my life, that's not true. My odds of winning the jackpot in the major lotteries is 1 in 2. 50%. I have a 50% chance of winning. Because, in the end, either I WILL win or I WON'T win. A 50% chance of winning. Odds = 1 out of 2.

Statistics and odds are deceiving. The way I see it, the real odds for most things happening are more like 1 out of 2. A 50% chance. Either it will happen or it won't.

You have a 50% chance of getting a good night's sleep. Either you will or you won't.

If you live in a major city, you have a 50% chance of being in a traffic jam. Either you will or you won't be in a traffic jam. In Los Angeles, however, the odds are 100% that you will be in a traffic jam!

You have a 50/50 chance of putting down your cell phone and being part of the real and natural world. Either you will put your cell phone down or you won't. If you don't, you will be missing out on some wonderful things and some wonderful people.

You have a 1 in 2 chance of meeting the beautiful woman or handsome man across the room. Either you will or you won't. To increase the odds, go over and say hello.

Not all odds are in our favor. Take death, for instance. We have a 100% chance of being visited by the Grim Reaper. The question is not if, but when. In the meantime, live your life, live it well - you have a 50% chance of being totally happy!

Take The Hobby Poll

Hobbies are very popular. What's your hobby?

My favorite hobby? Napping.

Tech Warning

I was not overly paranoid about technology, until today. Now, I am concerned, scared and outraged. Why? Here's why

I turned on my laptop today and saw a new icon on my taskbar. It was the amazon icon. I opened it and it was the Amazon Assistant. Huh? What was the Amazon Assistant? I had never seen or heard of it before and did not know what it was. I googled it and found out that it was an amazon app. "The Amazon Assistant is a free suite of software applications available for select browsers and operating systems that comes with features to help you compare products and prices while searching and shopping online." I did not want it, and worse, did not give permission for it to install on my device! The app installed itself on my laptop!!! WHAT??? A legitimate app should never do that, a legit app should always get your permission and acceptance before it installs itself. This app didn't. Where did the app come from? Who installed the Amazon Assistant app on my computer?

I was outraged. And scared. Technology had taken over my device, without my permission, and installed an amazon app. Not possible? Now it is. It happened. No, I had not visited any bogus websites or opened any bogus emails. And, no, I have not gotten any updates recently.

I decided to contact amazon and find out how this incredible and totally unacceptable invasion of privacy took place. I contacted amazon via chat and this is what transpired:

"Hello, my name is Sasi. I'm here to help you today. How may I help you?

Me: Amazon Assistant app was installed on my laptop yesterday/last night without my permission

Sasi:I'm sorry to hear about the issue you have with the Amazon Assistant app. Please give me a moment.

Thanks for waiting, Andrew. Just to be sure, do you wan to uninstall the app?

Me: Installing an app on someone's device - without their permission - is a HUGE issue

Sasi:I can understand your concern, Andrew.

Me: how DARE amazon do that! I have been a loyal customer for many years. Now, amazon invades my privacy and takes over my computer?!

Sasi:I apologize for any inconvenience, Andrew. Let me transfer this chat to the concern team. I'll take only a few moment.

Sandy:Hello, my name is Sandy. I'm sorry for the multiple transfers. Please allow me a moment while I review your previous chat correspondence to assist you in a much better way.

Me: Just so I understand, the Amazon Assistant app was installed on my device without permission?

Sandy:Thank you for staying connected. Andrew, there is no option for us to install any app over customers device. Please check with your family members someone might have accessed your PC.

Me: Nobody else uses my laptop. Ever.

Sandy:As the app needs to be installed manually, there is no way for us to access or install the app on anyone's device.

Me: the app was not installed manually, not by me or anyone else. This is a BIG problem

Sandy:Andrew, have you accessed any website where it requires to install any app on your PC.

Me: Is there a third party that could have installed the app?

Sandy:There could be, if you accessed any website where it states you need to install this app or this app will be installed automatically.

Me: I have installed no new apps. I would have been aware of any website that required downloading/installing an app. Is it possible that Chrome (google) installed the app?

Sandy:Andrew, until and unless someone clicked on the option to install, the app doesn't get installed not only amazon assistant any app. It needs to be installed manually.

Me:Apparently not. This app was installed without my permission, without me clicking on any option.

Sandy:Then this needs to be reported to our technical department and I'm sorry for any inconvenience caused to you. Please update your passwords to be on a safer side if anyone has remote access to your PC.

Me: I believe that amazon would be the only party to benefit from having this app on a device, I am holding amazon responsible.

Sandy:Andrew, as I have mentioned we don't get an option to install apps on customers PC. If it's a fire tablet or ereader, it'll might be installed if there's any new update rolled out, other than that we never access customers devices.

Me: btw, I have uninstalled the app. I still have the amazon app on my device and have had it for a long time. It's a Windows 10 Lenovo laptop with Chrome browser

Sandy:Thank you for providing the device details. I'll update my resources about this issue. Is there anything else I can assist you with today?

Me: No. Thank you. Bye.

Amazon denied their Amazon Assistant app could have been installed without my permission. Yet it was. Could google Chrome have done it? No doubt they would deny it too. Could Microsoft have done it? No doubt they would deny it too. How about Facebook? No doubt they would deny it. No doubt EVERYBODY would deny it. However, somebody installed the Amazon Assistant app on my electronic device -- and it wasn't me! And no one else had access to or used my device.

The invasion of your device without your knowledge or permission and installing a legitimate app is scary. Really scary. And outrageous. SOMEBODY installed the Amazon Assistant app on my device without my knowledge or permission. Now, I am paranoid, about ALL technology. With good reason.

Beware of technology, it can take over our lives. If it hasn't already.

Girl Scout cookies

The Girl Scouts have been selling cookies outside my local supermarket. I noticed that it was not easy or comfortable for them. Sales is not easy. I decided to help them. There were 2 girl scouts standing there selling cookies. They were about 11-years-old. I asked the moms of the 2 girl scouts if I could show the girls how to sell more cookies. They were delighted and said Yes. I addressed the 2 girls and told them, "Be more enthusiastic. Use over-the-top enthusiasm. You will sell more cookies. In fact, you will probably outsell all the other Girl Scouts." I told them to look at the incoming shoppers and, with lots of honest enthusiasm, loudly say, "HI! Would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies?!" I demonstrated. The moms laughed. The girls did not, they were busy paying attention. They were getting their minds around the new and improved method of selling their cookies.

I showed them how to do it again. I verbally addressed some incoming shoppers with an over-the-top enthusiastic, "HI! Would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies?!". Several shoppers stopped and considered buying some cookies. The girls saw that the over-the-top honest enthusiasm worked, and even worked for a non-girl-scout old guy.

I walked away happily. I had helped some youngsters. I had taught the 2 young girls a priceless secret of life. A lifelong secret of success. Enthusiasm. Honest enthusiasm. Honest enthusiasm is infectious. It invites and involves others. It uplifts people. It uplifts the person being enthusiastic. And it influences others in a positive way. People naturally respond to enthusiasm.

Whoever you are, you will sell more stuff, a lot more stuff, including yourself - and also attract other "good stuff" - when you are honestly enthusiastic.

Be honestly enthusiastic! Generate MORE enthusiasm! And reap the benefits every day - for the rest of your life!

Drink and live longer

From US New and World Report

The 90+ Study, started in 2003, focuses on the fastest growing age group in America – the "oldest-old" – to determine what habits lead to quantity and quality of life, according to its website. This year, researchers at the Clinic for Aging Research and Education in Laguna Woods, California, focused on what food, activities and lifestyles are commonly featured among those living longer.

Analyzing more than 1,600 nonagenarians, the study results showed that people who drank two glasses of beer or wine a day improved their odds of living longer than those who abstained by about 18 percent.

“I have no explanation for it, but I do firmly believe that modest drinking improves longevity,” Dr. Claudia Kawas, a neurology specialist and head of the 90+ Study at the University of California, said in her keynote address.

Exercising regularly and partaking in a hobby for two hours a day were also associated with longer lives. Surprisingly, people who were overweight, but not obese, in their 70s lived longer than normal or underweight people did.

Huh. Imagine that. Maybe I'll start drinking and buy some booze today. If I drink the whole bottle, and do that every day, will I live longer ... or be arrested for driving under the influence?

Plus, as I am not overweight, I'll have to eat more junk food - for my health.

Welcome to Hollywood

I looked out my window and saw a bunch of trucks full of movie equipment going by. I went outside on my balcony and this is what I saw

Apparently, they were going to shoot a TV show or a movie next door and were using the parking lot and other areas. Yes, this happens often in Los Angeles. Welcome to Hollywood!

I do not know what TV show or movie they are shooting. However, whichever it is, filming usually messes up local traffic and parking. I expect that to happen here, for as long as they are shooting in the vicinity. However, it's exciting and maybe I'll see or meet some Hollywood movie stars. Maybe the director will ask me to be in the show. And pay me. Or, maybe I'll get a free meal from the always excellent catering service. Or, maybe I'll just be inconvenienced, day and night, until they leave.

Or maybe they're shooting a porn movie and I'll get to see, or meet, the female star(s). Oh, yeah! Welcome to Hollywood!

No Jacket January

In Los Angeles, it's the end of January. Today it was 73 degrees and sunny. At the end of January. I went outside during the day without a jacket. It felt good.

In Paris, it was 41 degrees F.

In Moscow, it was 21 degrees F.

In those places, and in most other places around the world, in late January you need a warm winter jacket. And gloves.

And, incredibly, tomorrow, in L.A. it will be 84 degrees. And sunny. And the next day it will be 85 degrees.

No jacket January. That's why I live here!

UPDATE: On Super Bowl Sunday (Feb 4, 2018) the forecasted temperature, at kickoff, in Minneapolis, Minnesota, is 3 degrees F. In Los Angeles, at kickoff time, it will be 80 degrees. Final Weather Super Bowl score: Los Angeles: 80, Minneapolis: 3.

Marijuana Malls

Shopping malls are dead. According to the Wall St Journal: "Just when you think you have a handle on the brick-and-mortar retail crisis, the prognosis gets worse. More than 8,600 stores will close their doors in 2017, according to Credit Suisse analysts—a number that exceeds store closures during 2008, when America was in recession. One quarter of all shopping malls are expected to shutter in the next five years, according to the same report.

This downward spiral has severe economic implications, although some are less apocalyptic than they seem at first. In fact, there’s some evidence that automation and e-commerce actually create more—and better-paying—jobs than they destroy.

But there’s one issue that no one has figured out how to solve: what to do with all those vacant stores. "

I have. I have figured out how to solve it. What to do with all those vacant stores and dead shopping malls? Turn them into "marijuana malls". Recreational marijuana is now legal in many states. The rest of the states will no doubt follow. If the dying and dead shopping malls are turned into marijuana malls, people can go there and buy weed and socialize, while getting stoned and feeding their munchies.

Stores in a marijuana mall might also include tattoo parlors, health food stores, a gym, a Virtual Reality arcade and, of course, an iPhone store.

Mall problem solved. Convert the dying and dead malls into marijuana malls: the evolution of brick-and-mortar mall stores. A cardinal rule of business? Give people what they want. And younger people don't want more "stuff", they want more experiences. And more weed.

Simple and Stupid

Once upon a time, I went to college. I was taking an economics course and having a difficult time understanding the stuff. In the economics course, the textbook used many unknown terms and language that I not only did not understand but, when I looked up the definition of something, I could not understand that either.

I realized that economists were using their own language, a difficult language, so that normal people would not be able to understand the subject matter. Why? To make themselves elite, to make themselves more money. And to make it difficult for me (and everyone else) to learn.

For weeks I was frustrated at not being able to learn economics. And fearful of failing the course. One evening, as I was struggling with my economics homework, I looked up to the heavens and cried, "Why is this stuff so complicated??? Why didn't they explain economic theories by using "apples and oranges" instead of complicated math and language formulas??? Suddenly, I light bulb went off in my head. Apples and oranges? OK, let's see if that works. I applied simple apples and orange examples to economic formulae. It works. Instead of the economic language used to explain the "Multiplier Effect" I made it into, "If you cut an apple into four parts and those four parts were cut into four more parts, etc. that's the Multiplier Effect." It worked! From that point on, I applied the simple (and stupid) "apples and oranges" concept to economics ... and got an A in the course!

From that point on, when faced with complicated stuff, I try to simplify it -- by applying my "apples and oranges" concept. "apples and oranges" is my own version of the old adage: "keep it simple, stupid". I keep it simple AND stupid. You can too.

Be a jerk

When someone calls you a jerk, tell them this:

"I assume you know that the term 'jerk' is now used as a term of praise and respect. So, thank you for calling me a jerk. And, in return, I just want to say, you're an even bigger jerk."

Yes, I made that up. I thought it was funny. But, then again, maybe I'm a jerk.

No Drug Disposal

This morning I had a thought, I should get rid of my many old prescription medications and pill bottles. I have kitchen cabinets full of them, having not thrown them out for decades.

Hmm, how to throw them away?

I had heard of official local disposal facilities for prescription drugs. Yes, I would look them up and take my prescription drugs to one of those places for disposal. I looked up prescription drug disposal places near me (in Los Angeles, near Burbank). There weren't any. Not one facility anywhere close to me. The nearest one was like 30 miles away! Well, that isn't going to work. I'm not driving 60 miles just to dispose of my old prescription medications.

Next, I looked up other suggested ways to dispose of old drugs. One suggested way was to flush them (certain prescription drugs) down the toilet. I did not want to do that, as the drugs would end up in the nearby Pacific Ocean and might medicate/kill the local sea life.

Another suggested way to dispose of old, expired, or no longer used medications was to throw them in the trash. Throw them away. Except they would then end up in the landfill and maybe medicate/kill the birds and wildlife feeding on the landfill trash. I did not want that to happen either.

So, what did I do?

Nothing. I did not dispose of my old prescription drugs. I left the damn things where they were, in the kitchen cabinets. Let them stay there for another two decades.

Newest t-shirt style trend

I wear t-shirts. I also eat popsicles (sugar free) in the evening. Sometimes, the two are not compatible. Sometimes, the popsicle melts a bit while I am eating it, and popsicle juice drips on my t-shirt. Grape or cherry popsicle juice. It stains. It fades. It shows. I now have several t-shirts with small faded stains on the front. The stains did not come out in the laundry. Now, I am faced with a dilemma.

I can throw away, or give away, my stained t-shirts and buy new ones. Except, the stained t-shirts are older and soft and new t-shirts are not as good. I could experiment with laundry stain removers but it's too much trouble and I am not handy with stuff like that. Or, I could wear the stained t-shirts and have people stare at my stain and think I am unfashionably dirty. None of those choices are acceptable so I came up with an alternative acceptable clothing idea.

I am hereby making a new fashion statement. I am declaring the wearing of stained t-shirts to be fashionable. I am declaring stained t-shirts the new fashion rage. The new fashion trend. The new "cool". Yes, I will now wear my stained t-shirts with pride. "Hey, everybody, look at me, I'm wearing a t-shirt with faded stains on the front and it's cool. I'M cool!" That's better than having to buy new t-shirts. Or giving up my delicious sugar free popsicles.


You have pneumonia.

Pneumonia. An infection of the lungs. A nasty disease. Plus, it's really hard to spell.

I have a better idea.

If you get pneumonia for the first time, it's a new ailment. Why don't we call it/spell it "newmonia", new monia.

If you already had newmonia and get it again, why don't we call it oldmonia? Or remonia?

Judgement Day

Try not to dislike someone until you know them personally. Or see them in action. Try not to discriminate based on race, color, religion, gender or sexual preference. If you do, you might be making a big mistake. Just because someone is different, or acts different, doesn't make them unlikeable. The only thing that really matters is: are they an asshole or not.

Liberals tell us not to judge. Ever. They're wrong. It's human nature to judge or pre-judge. It's in our DNA. It's normal. That doesn't make it a good thing. It makes it something to overcome, to better yourself. Not by passing laws but by a desire to be a better person.

I have learned not to judge a book by its cover. Or, if I do, I try to overcome my initial feelings and give a person a chance. Many many times have I been surprised to find a really strange, very different, highly radical looking person (male, female or whatever) to actually be very nice and very interesting. Surprise! Who knew? The only way to find out is to find out. Say something. Say something like "Hello". See what happens. Sometimes you don't get a response, or get a bad response, and sometimes you have a terrific conversation and make a new friend. I have met wonderful people - with tattoos and blue hair, and terrific gentle people that looked like scruffy scary giants. The real person was there, under their strange and different outer shell. I made an effort, I said hello. Then, I found something interesting to comment on. "I like your hat" or "I like your shoes, where are they?" or "I like your hair color, it's different. It's a rainbow". Then I give them a chance to respond.

If you find out they're an asshole, walk away. If they're not, you may grow to like them. Or even love them. You don't know until you find out. Give everyone a chance.

Try it. It's way cool. And you may often be pleasantly surprised.

How I Quit Smoking - In 1 Day

Yes, after 50 years of smoking a pack of cigarettes a day, I quit. I quit in 1 day.

See how I did it!

Thanksgiving weather

It's November 21, 2017, 2 days before Thanksgiving. In Los Angeles, where I live, it is 86 degrees outside. And, yes, the sun is out. And, yes, I just turned on the air conditioner.

Tomorrow, the day before Thanksgiving, it will be 94 degrees in L.A. And sunny. On Thanksgiving Day, it is forecasted to be 90 degrees here. And sunny.

Other cities' weather for Thanksgiving Day:

In New York City, on Thanksgiving, it is forecasted to be 46 degrees.

In Chicago, on Thanksgiving, it is forecasted to be 7 degrees.

In Fairbanks, Alaska, on Thanksgiving, it is forecasted to be 1 degree.

On Thanksgiving Day, what will I be thankful for? What do you think?

And, on New Year's Day, it was 73 degrees. Brrr.